Holistic Wellness for High Achievers: Breaking Free from Stress & Burnout

In this episode, Jill O'Boyle and holistic wellness coach Shan Wright dive into the importance of managing stress and burnout for high-achieving women. Shan shares her journey from traditional nursing to holistic wellness, offering practical tools for stress management, the impact of belief systems, and how accountability can support lasting wellness. 

Key Takeaways:

• How belief systems drive our stress reactions
• Practical tools for managing stress and burnout before it escalates
• Why identifying triggers is key to breaking free from overwhelm

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Transcript

Jill O'Boyle (00:03.404)
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Your Life, Your Story. Rise up. I'm your host Jill O'Boyle. It is so good to be here with you all. So thank you for always coming back, always following the show. If you've been following this podcast for some time, you know that I love coaching and motivating high achieving women, those overachievers, right? Busy, always saying yes women. And then we wonder, why did I just say yes to this?

Anybody know any women like that? Like maybe you're like, yes, I'm driving my car. just raised my hand right now and said, yep, that is me. Hey, I get it. I get it. We as high achieving women often thrive in a state of stress. But here's the thing, when our stress isn't managed, it turns to exhaustion, anxiety, and it ultimately does lead us to burnout. And so we have to learn how to manage our stress holistically in order for us to live well and have

peace and presence and have more time and have energy and you guys guess what I have the perfect person to help us do just that so today I am joined with Shan Wright she is the daughter of the king she is married to her wonderful husband Brian for 13 years and she is a mother to not one not two not three but four children you all four children all under the age of

12. God bless her. And she is just an advocate of holistic wellness. And so as a registered nurse for about 18 years, currently serves women in the holistic wellness space as a coach and a podcaster. And so today she is going to join the podcast to share her wisdom and knowledge with us. Shan, thanks so much for being here.

Shan Wright (01:55.246)
Thanks so much for having me, I'm super excited.

Jill O'Boyle (01:58.346)
Me too, I'm so glad we got connected and just excited to have you bring your wealth and your knowledge and again, for children, like that is a job right there. So I shared a little bit about your bio and in your bio, you talked about just this journey of passion and advocate for holistic wellness.

Shan Wright (02:10.039)
It is, it is.

Jill O'Boyle (02:23.938)
So would you want to talk a little bit about, you know, what is holistic wellness and what inspired you to move? Because as you said, you were a registered nurse and moving from that traditional nursing space into the holistic wellness.

Shan Wright (02:38.956)
Yeah, awesome. Well, I would love to share all that. Holistic wellness is the wellness of the whole person and recognizing that we're all made up of what I believe to be eight wellness areas and they are all connected and intertwined. And a lot of times in traditional medicine, we like to treat the problem and not get to the root of the problem. So I, to rewind back in my story because this really,

Jill O'Boyle (02:47.66)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (02:54.679)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (03:07.982)
this transition started way back when. So I went into nursing school because I was given great advice from mentors and people that loved me in my life and respected adults that I should be in healthcare. In some kind of form or fashion, I should be in health and wellness as a career. And I thought, well, I just wanna be a mom. So if you're telling me nursing,

Jill O'Boyle (03:27.842)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (03:34.68)
could lead to like a flexible career where I can do both, I'll do that. So I went to nursing school just knowing that I liked to help people, I wanna be a mom. And quickly realized once I got into nursing school, which I went to a private Christian school, that nursing was the perfect fit for me. We were taught in that nursing school to treat the whole person. We were taught we are spiritual beings in physical form.

and that we're treating when we care for someone as a nurse, we're caring for their whole person. Now, once I entered the nursing world, I realized that's not how you can really practice if you're doing it in traditional space, you're under the care of the doctor, and you're doing this in a business form in a hospital. There's ways a business runs, and we get the order from the physician, we implement the order.

Jill O'Boyle (04:09.014)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (04:32.32)
We are also supposed to be an advocate for the patient and take care of them, but it's really hard to take care of them as you feel your soul is telling you to when you're just giving them a pill. And so I did it traditionally for about 10 years. And in that time, I always had that struggle inside. Being that my spiritual life is most important to me.

Jill O'Boyle (04:45.707)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (04:52.012)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (05:02.462)
I really wanted to care for the patient's spiritual life as I'm caring for their acute illness, ailments. Actually, I dealt with a lot of cancer patients. A lot of it was chronic and acute. And dealing with and caring for them, I really knew that their spiritual wellness was the most important. And I felt like I was kind of having to put that aside to just get the job done and make sure

Jill O'Boyle (05:12.823)
Hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (05:30.178)
I'm done. Yeah.

Shan Wright (05:32.142)
Their life was secure in the hospital and yes, there is a time and place for that and there's we need nurses like that We need people in there and help these people live and survive this trauma this crisis they're in but it just Wasn't enough for my soul has I was feeling It wasn't soul aligned so then I had the opportunity once we moved and We moved from California

Jill O'Boyle (05:39.692)
Sure.

Jill O'Boyle (05:49.953)
Yeah.

Mm, it's good.

Shan Wright (06:00.898)
to Indiana and I had the opportunity to lay down that career and focus solely on being a stay at home mom. And I struggled for a minute actually to do that because I had worked so hard in nursing, but I thought, okay, this is the time to do it. And I had this opportunity, is not everyone gets this chance to have a one income family. So we did that and it was my third kid.

And at that point it was my second, I had two kids and then I had my third kid and I struggled with major postpartum anxiety, which I had anxiety my whole life. I just never labeled it that. I never knew that's what it was. I was just very high achieving, like functioned well under stress and pressure. Like I was in, you know, with a lot of patients that needed someone to think on their feet, problem solve.

Jill O'Boyle (06:32.513)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (06:42.966)
that. Sure.

Shan Wright (06:58.25)
stay calm under pressure, like that was me. I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna get the job done, I'm gonna do everything, I'm gonna stay calm. So I thought I was just, I actually thought I wasn't stressed out or anxious. And then after postpartum, this third time, it was like evident that's what it was. And I realized, I had struggled with this, the other pregnancies as well. It just wasn't to this degree. It was kind of building. And I got to a point,

with God, I had a crafting business at the time, still kind of do, I don't know. And so I was dabbling with that. And so I went to God and I was like, I'm not doing okay. I can't run this business by myself. I can't run this house, have the perfect house, the perfect kids, toddler, infant, marriage, be perfect at all of this all at once. Like I can't do it all. And I said, help me, God help me.

Jill O'Boyle (07:32.705)
Yeah.

Thank

Shan Wright (07:57.26)
And he said, no, I want you to stop. And I was like, wait, what? I need to do all of it. He's like, no, I need you to stop. I need you to focus on these four things. And the four things were really about my mental, emotional, social, spiritual wellness. And I was like, these aren't like, these actually aren't the things I'm focusing on right now. I need to do all these other tasks and these things.

Jill O'Boyle (08:03.872)
What?

Jill O'Boyle (08:22.144)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (08:25.112)
He's like, no, these are the four things I need you to do. And if you focus on those, then you will be well, and then you will be calm. And I'm gonna calm the chaos if you obey and just do these four things. So that led me onto a holistic wellness journey of my own, because I had always been caring for others. And it was like, no, now, Shan, I need you to care for yourself in these four ways. This is your holistic journey. If you're well, then you're gonna be able to take care of these kids.

Jill O'Boyle (08:50.838)
Mmm.

Shan Wright (08:53.846)
in a well way and they're going to thrive because you're thriving and your marriage will thrive and all of it. So that was the start of me getting holistically well and then it wasn't until a few years later that I entered into the business space of now this is what I do and this is how I can help others live holistically well.

Jill O'Boyle (09:15.272)
Wow, what a testimony and what a huge testimony of just how God doesn't always answer what we ask for, right? Like the hard no and you're like, what? And it's so ironic that how, you know, God just moves and the stories that I keep bringing people on this podcast too. I literally just had a podcast that I recorded the other day and we were talking about this very simple thing.

Shan Wright (09:23.896)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (09:43.854)
of how so many of us women just feel this need to control and feel this need to just keep pushing and moving. And it is, it feels so contradictory in our minds to that when God says, just pause, like we'll actually be more productive. it make, the logic makes no sense, right? And I'm sure that's what you were feeling in that time when he was like, no, I need you to just stop everything and just focus mentally, spiritually.

emotionally, very, it's so good and so aligned. Like it's just aligning with all the things that I've been talking about. So can you talk a little bit, you know, the holistic wellness piece a little bit more and this is what you're helping. I know you're women and your clients. For the listeners that are listening that I said, you know, they are high achieving women, of them and men. Describe the difference, you know, I think so many times I know I have anxiety, stress burned out like

They all just seem to be the same, one in the same. It's just this lump. Like I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm frustrated. I'm stressed. I'm burned out. I'm anxiety. Like, is there a difference or is it really just all the same? Can you talk a little bit about that?

Shan Wright (10:54.296)
Yeah, that's a good question. And something I ask my people as well, because I'm like, and like I said, I never labeled mine anxiety when I was growing up as a high schooler and that straight A student and that star athlete and good girl, like I was one of five siblings. All those ways, I never described that as me being this stressed out, perfectionist little child that's trying to do everything.

Jill O'Boyle (11:04.384)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (11:12.701)
Mmm.

Shan Wright (11:23.936)
I just saw it as this is me, I'm a high achiever, I do good work, but I didn't see the toll that it was taking on me and then as into entering my career, same thing. I was like, well, this is all good stuff. And that leads me to, yes, stress is a part of life and we actually, there is an optimal amount of stress that helps us get things done, perform, achieve.

Jill O'Boyle (11:28.738)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (11:51.724)
Do like score the winning goal and get the A on the test and give the amazing speech. We have that optimal amount of stress, but there's a line and it's sometimes a very fine line depending on the person and depending on what else is going on in their life. It can be a fine line. It can be a broad line, but there's a line. And when we pass it, it leads to exhaustion, too much stress.

Jill O'Boyle (11:54.359)
Right.

Shan Wright (12:18.958)
So you pass the line, it leads to too much stress, which then our body is fatigued and exhausted internally. Like our nerves are shot. And that is where burnout sets in. When your nervous system can no longer keep up with the stress of life, that is where burnout comes. And that is where anxiety lives as well. So burnout is the ongoing

Jill O'Boyle (12:27.21)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (12:36.802)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (12:43.81)
Okay.

Shan Wright (12:48.596)
unmanaging stress overload. So we are supposed to have a certain amount. You have way too much in a continuous way that's going to lead to burnout and exhaustion. Anxiety is when you are, it's more mental. So you're not able to deal with the stress, deal with the burnout in a mentally.

Jill O'Boyle (12:51.264)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (13:14.134)
an emotionally well way with good coping mechanisms and tools that are healthy for your whole person. Then you can be worried, overthinking, driven by fear and you have this underlying fear that is at the exhausted level. And again, there's that healthy fear of God. But if you're having this fear all the time of something and then it leads you to being stressed out overthinking.

Jill O'Boyle (13:20.407)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (13:42.594)
So they are connected, they're all similar, and they're all, you can be at the point where you have all of them. Too much stress, burnout, and anxiety. But they all come at different points, and you can manage them differently once you figure out, what am I, is this a stress that I can actually eliminate from my life? And so the baseline would be figure out.

Jill O'Boyle (13:44.928)
Right. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (14:08.962)
Mmm.

Shan Wright (14:11.468)
where your stress is and what can you manage and get off your plate so that you're not having this overcome of stress and you're still at that optimal level where you can function, you can perform, you can show up in your whole self and in your whole life.

Jill O'Boyle (14:12.929)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (14:20.63)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (14:30.538)
Right, yep, that's so good. Yeah, so basically the stress, what I'm taking away from that is a, right, there is stress and we're gonna have stress and it does help us like to kinda, I know sometimes I, and maybe that's the high achiever, know, taboo thing, but I'm like, man, sometimes I work the best when I'm like under pressure, you know? Like sometimes I...

Shan Wright (14:50.936)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (14:54.15)
I will procrastinate, but man, I get my best work done, right? There's some of that stress that might be okay. Like I don't want every woman to take that and be like, yeah, just procrastinate. But so you're saying like living in fear, A, that adds to the stress, that then adds to the anxiety. And when you just keep building on that and you don't manage as well, well, then you're in chronic burnout stage. And then it's gonna be even harder to get out of that because your whole...

Shan Wright (15:16.675)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (15:22.144)
body is just going numb at this point and you're living in survival, right?

Shan Wright (15:24.238)
Exactly. Your nervous system can't keep up. we're thinking a lot of things are external stress, but we fail to recognize all the internal stress we're putting on our body. it is something so small. And you're like, that's not stressful. Well, inside your cells, they're saying something different. And your nerves are saying something different. that is stressful.

Jill O'Boyle (15:38.433)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (15:46.881)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (15:51.576)
for your body and your mind and your person to take on, and you're taking that on every day on and on and on, and you're like, well, I got it, I can deal with it, I'm good at that. it's like, but what toll is it taking on your body? So a lot of times we fail to recognize the internal stress that's happening.

Jill O'Boyle (16:06.176)
Right. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (16:10.496)
Yeah, that's what I was just gonna ask you. So I know like one of the things that you just said was really, really great. Like ask yourself, like, is this a stress that I need in my life? Is this something, is there something that I could be eliminating to help manage my life? Sometimes I don't think those are so obvious to see. Like I think they're little things that just start building up in your life and the next thing you know, you're in full blown burnout. So.

What are some ways that you help your clients to actually manage those fears, that stress, that anxiety before it gets to that point of just complete burnout? Is there things, I mean, one, I think what you just said, like asking questions to yourself. But what about somebody who just can't recognize things? What are some ways that you think are helpful?

Shan Wright (16:54.253)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (16:57.966)
Well, I think to think of what is your in the moment of anxiety or stress. What is your body feeling? Think about what am I actually feeling? And so a lot of times it helps to go after the fact and sit down and think of a recent moment where you felt very stressed out and anxious and okay, what were you feeling? What were you thinking about? What was the thought that came through your head?

Jill O'Boyle (17:08.118)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (17:21.377)
Mm.

Shan Wright (17:25.885)
What did you actually say? What came out of your word? What were the words that you used? And then, because those came from your thoughts, those came out your mouth, and then what did you do? And what was your action that followed? Now, is that all something that you want to happen? Well, if it's not, then you have to rewind and reverse that and say, where did that thought come from?

Jill O'Boyle (17:34.027)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (17:43.042)
you

Jill O'Boyle (17:51.969)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (17:52.16)
what comes from your belief system and it comes down from in the roots. Your beliefs are repeated thoughts. So you've thought it for so long. So it could be something so silly as you're always snapping when the kids leave the shoes in the front of the door. You're always irritated and snapping at that. And it's like, okay.

Jill O'Boyle (18:12.386)
I am so glad that you just used this example because when you were just talking, I was just gonna say, okay, Shan, what about getting my kids shoes on? So this is great. Please help me.

Shan Wright (18:20.886)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So like the shoes are all over the place. My other thing is socks. Like especially I'm like, man, it's sock season now again, because the socks they...

Jill O'Boyle (18:27.756)
Yes!

Jill O'Boyle (18:31.362)
What is it with socks? my gosh, you're speaking to me. Let's go. This is gonna be so good. Yes.

Shan Wright (18:36.586)
It drives me crazy. so I think the thing is you get irritated when their socks and shoes and things not in their place. Well, what is the what is that expectation that you have that has built a belief in you that socks and shoes have a place. They should never be left out. The kid needs to take responsibility and put them where they go. So some of that is. Some of that is good. That's good that kid needs to learn responsibility.

Jill O'Boyle (18:45.665)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (19:06.338)
But where are they in their stage of life and have you as the parent taken the time to teach them? So I realized recently that I have said it before, put your shoes away. They go in a drawer, they each have their drawer, put your shoes away. And I have said it at particular times, like before bed, I'm like, okay, everyone go clean up your shoes. So if they're left there after school, that's on me because I've taught them

It's okay to take your shoes off. We will at bedtime. Mommy's going to say, go put your shoes away. So I'm taught that I can take them off and leave them there and just come in the door, throw everything. And then at my bedtime, we'll clean it up. But in the meantime, between then and now and bedtime, it's irritating me, but it's because I have not taken the time to realize what is irritating me. Well, it's irritating because I'm having to walk from point A to point B, kick over their shoes, trip over their shoes and

Jill O'Boyle (19:41.782)
shoes away.

Jill O'Boyle (19:59.138)
Hmm.

Shan Wright (20:07.114)
It's slowing me down and where I wanna go. And it's irritating because I'm like, they haven't taken responsibility for their things. Well, I need to get to the bottom of why I think that. think, you know, is it a good thing for kids to be responsible? Yes, we have to teach them. And then once we don't teach them, and then they, once we teach them and then they obey, disobey, then we can say, okay, we still have a parenting problem here. I need to, apparently you haven't learned yet. We need to still work on other tools.

So a lot of times we're reacting and things trigger us, like the shoes are a trigger for me, but I need to figure out why it's a trigger and get to the bottom of when I feel, and for me I know, if I see clutter and I feel clutter, the socks everywhere, we have four kids, that's eight socks, I'm like, okay, it gets me all jumbled and stressed out and cluttered in my brain. And I'm like, I can't remember what I was just doing. So the clear,

Jill O'Boyle (21:00.726)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shan Wright (21:06.604)
and not having the clutter really helps me stay in a calm place. So if I know that's a trigger for me, then I need to set the things in place to eliminate that trigger in a healthy way and in a calm, nice, gentle way to help the kids learn. I don't know if I answered your question. I forget where we started.

Jill O'Boyle (21:17.314)
That is good.

Jill O'Boyle (21:22.486)
Yeah, yeah, that's no, you know, you really did. It's like really, I love the asking of the questions back because it really does help. And it makes so much sense now that you explain that because it is, and what I'm finding is the shoes are always a trigger and I get so annoyed just like you said, because it's like, I'm now making dinner and I'm tripping over a shoe in front of the stove. I'm like, why in the world is this shoe?

in the kit. One shoe is in front of the stove and the other shoe is thrown in the living room. I'm like, what just happened here? Like you came in and just like kicked it all off when we have a mud room that we created with cubbies. That's where you go and the backpacks go here. But what I just learned here is I think every time I will say something like, why are the shoes in the kitchen when they should be in the mud room? But what do I do? I go and pick them up and I put them away.

Shan Wright (21:56.91)
You

Jill O'Boyle (22:18.57)
And my nightly routine is the same. We put everything away, the pillows go back in order, but that's like my thing. Like I like wind down like doing that. so that's a great lesson for me to say, continue to try to train the kids soon as they come in, put these hair. My friend actually just shared the same, a very similar story. She works from home as well. And she's like, I don't know why it took me this long to do it, but like when the kids would get off the school bus, like she'd be in the middle of a work thing.

and they all are so excited about their papers, right? And she's like, they would run in and they'd be like, mommy, mommy, look, look, and I need this sign and this is a field trip slip. And she would like, she would have all these papers like all the time. And she's like, okay, thank you. And she would grab them all, but she'd just put them on her like desk. And then when I get time to it, I will go put these away. And she's like, I created this like new little cubby system when they could walk in the door, all they take their folders out of their backpacks, they put all their papers in their bins.

and then I will go with them and I'll spend that quality time. But now they know that I had to set the boundary to say, papers go here. And after mommy's done with work, and after we've done dinner, we will go through the papers together. And it's just like, it's like, I'm like, that's brilliant. And she's like, I mean, it's just sounds so easy, but we just, we just go in our own, we like enable our stress, honestly, like.

Shan Wright (23:34.189)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (23:38.944)
Yes, we have to realize what triggers us and what sets us off and what our anxiety triggers are because once we get to that anxiety spot, we're in burnout. And I know lot of that's some of the lingo that you use is burnout. And so once we get to that point of anxiety, that is a sister to burnout. And so if we have that anxiety and that stress every single day and it's going to wear on us eventually, it's going to compound.

Jill O'Boyle (23:46.795)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (23:51.991)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (23:55.404)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (24:02.465)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (24:08.876)
And so we have to realize what are our triggers and we have to set up tools that we personally can grab and use in that moment. So sometimes it's planning ahead and teaching the kid and setting that up and saying, I need to teach this kid this and implementing that. Other times it's going to be a tool that you know, this is a trigger that can come up here and there. like, for instance, my husband, a trigger for him is

Jill O'Boyle (24:12.514)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (24:28.535)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (24:39.086)
When the kids are sick and we don't know when that's gonna happen. It's not like set time But when the kids are sick, he gets very anxious about Them getting better. He wants them better fast And so he has to have a tool that he can pull out in that moment to say no I'm not gonna be anxious about this. I'm gonna trust God. He has a plan he you know and pray against it and pray for their healing and partner

Jill O'Boyle (24:40.972)
Hmm. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (24:59.905)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (25:08.032)
and what's going on and what God is doing and trust him and all of it. And so that's a tool that you have to have in the moment. On your tool belt, like I've been talking a lot about having a tool belt that's ready and prepped and so you know in the moment this is what I'm do. So it's a practice. But there are other ones that you can just eliminate. You can eliminate that trigger. No longer make it a trigger for you. Have the kids, they know where the stuff goes.

Jill O'Boyle (25:15.766)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (25:23.798)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shan Wright (25:33.058)
They do that. So that's one we're still working on. as we have growing kids, like until they learn, you have to continue parenting them in that area.

Jill O'Boyle (25:34.816)
Mm, it's good. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (25:42.944)
Yeah, that's so good, know the trigger. Shann, we were having coffee a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about, as coaches, sometimes our husbands are our best clients and maybe worst clients, right? Like we wanna help them so much. So I don't know if you would mind sharing the story about your husband, because I think this is super important because I think we as individuals, wives or moms,

Shan Wright (25:55.436)
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (26:11.082)
we can see the trigger before the individual sees the trigger. Like you could sense your husband's anxiety arising before he could even see it. would you mind, would you, I mean, is it okay to share that story? Cause I think it's really, it's a really good story.

Shan Wright (26:15.982)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (26:32.084)
Yeah. And it is really good for your people because most of your people are working from home or away from home. And even though he's a male. And so I mostly talk to moms, but I'm like, no, you are like my live in client. Like this is God's giving you because it doesn't matter male or female. And there's a lot of ways that he is just very

Jill O'Boyle (26:40.587)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (26:52.748)
Right?

Shan Wright (27:00.952)
Feminine in nature as he's just very thoughtful very always thinking about someone else and that's what gets us in in our trouble all the time is our thoughts we're constantly overthinking and that's what he does so we I Could see this building over the years that I've we've been married 13 years known each other for 14 and it was it was when we Actually first got engaged and we were on a flight and in the middle of the night

Jill O'Boyle (27:08.886)
Yeah. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (27:14.454)
Yep.

Shan Wright (27:30.158)
It was a red eye and he passes out like on the flight. The flight is dark black. Everyone's sleeping 2 a.m. and he passes out and I and I'm a nurse at the time. I freaked out. I was like, my gosh. And so I start screaming everyone's asleep and the flight attendants were not very amused by me. They were like, calm down. Has this ever happened before? And I'm like, no. And then

Jill O'Boyle (27:46.626)
You

Shan Wright (27:58.674)
he was only passed out for like, I don't know, 10 seconds. So then he, he like kind of comes to and he's like, yes, it has. And I'm like, what? I don't even know you. I learned in that moment that it had happened to previous times. So we basically had a vasovagal response. And in that instance, his vagus nerve, which is your largest nerve runs down in your whole body. It just flight.

Jill O'Boyle (28:21.43)
What's the Vegas, yeah.

Shan Wright (28:26.506)
It flew. It flew. We're in there and it just flew. said, nope, I'm not doing this. And it happened two other times. The other time was on another flight. And then the other time was just getting ready for school, for high school. I don't know what was going on in his life, but it was right before school. And so he was just so confused. He's like, after the first flight that had happened, they rushed him off, an ambulance and all the things, blood sugar. They're like, it has to be your blood sugar.

Jill O'Boyle (28:29.336)
Yeah

Jill O'Boyle (28:35.723)
Okay.

Shan Wright (28:56.422)
And all of that this time, he knew not to do that, but he's like, what's going on with my nerves? I think we saw a cardiologist, a neurologist. I don't know if we ever saw a neurologist. I think we saw a cardiologist, definitely a PCP, and we're still trying to figure it out. then, I mean, there's kind of a lull in the passing out. It was more like,

Jill O'Boyle (29:24.31)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (29:26.303)
symptoms of stress I guess for a few years then we

It happened again when we were here and we had moved from California. We were here and it happened again. And then it happened another and it happened again. And like my neighbor had told me her husband does the same thing. So I called her in the middle of the night and I was like, I didn't call the ambulance. I was like, what do I do? And so kind of just nursed him back to back to life. And then it happened again. And this time I saw his like, now I know it was like his

his sympathetic nervous system popping back into activity. But at the time, I was like, his heart just popped out of his chest. And so I called 911, the fire department rescues him from the bathroom. He's like, please never call again. So we're dealing with all these things in such a medical way. Long story short, we're dealing with all these things in a medical way. And we're like, what is going on with your body?

At that time, I learned your body is stressed out because at that point it was, he was, he then got sick. He had like a fever, his tummy, something, GI was going on and I realized, his body internally was dealing with the stress of an illness. And so then he passed out and then realized after times of it happening again, I was like, it's any kind of stress. can be external. It can be internal.

Jill O'Boyle (31:01.026)
Mmm.

Shan Wright (31:03.0)
but his body, this is his reaction. And so we've been dealing with this for years now and he, it almost happened this summer, but at this point I can like sometimes stop it from happening and I can massage his vagus nerve and we can, you know, help him with positioning and calming down, deep breathing, all those things. And so I prevented it. And then a couple of days later he is like, my arm's numb.

Jill O'Boyle (31:16.343)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (31:33.464)
I was like, what do mean your arm something? He's like, so then it was not even a day later. He's like, now it's both arms and now it's both legs. And he was just numbness tingling pain, back pain, neck pain, just so much, so much nerve pain, right? Someone's like, actually we're talking to his mom as a physical therapist. She's like, this is a nerve pain. You have a pinched nerve. Like that's why all your limbs are going numb and tingling. And, and I just still wasn't convinced. I'm like, this is related. It's all.

Jill O'Boyle (31:48.779)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (32:03.02)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (32:03.554)
building this is his anxiety and I am just Have been talking about anxiety for so long that I'm like this is it I know it and it looks so it looks so physical and it looks like these symptoms are not related and like well Why is my foot numb if I'm having anxiety? Well? It is related. It's all connected. We are one person in your nervous system runs throughout your whole body and we went to

Jill O'Boyle (32:20.332)
Sure.

Shan Wright (32:30.958)
he finally was able to talk him into going through this chiropractor that focuses on the nervous system. And he gave like this hour speech of why he does what he does and why he adjusts the way that he does and how he treats the body. And I'm just like, amen, amenning the whole time. And he's like, you're eating this up. And I was like this, because this is true. This is what I've been trying to tell you. But like, you're not going to sit here and listen to me give you a one hour speech about it. But he'll listen to the chiropractor. He went to school for it. You know, I did too. But

Jill O'Boyle (32:48.154)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (32:55.562)
Right. Somebody else. Stranger.

Shan Wright (33:01.24)
in a different way. So yes, he started seeing that finally, he actually did go to the doctor as well. He's like, well, I'm gonna go to both routes. I'm gonna see what the medical doctor has to say. Of course they told him carpal tunnel, because they were like, well, if it's in your hands when you're working at the computer, then it must be carpal tunnel. He's like, but I also have my legs go numb while I'm working at the computer. And it's like, well, then I don't know. You should see a neurologist.

And a neurologist, can't get in for months and months. So he was like, well, what do I do? I was like, how about you try my holistic natural route? And so I got him to the chiropractor, which was immediate. Like he saw him that day. He treated him that day, got him on a plan that day. Within three weeks, all his feeling was back and he even had an anxiety attack within that time.

Jill O'Boyle (33:30.657)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (33:43.701)
Amazing.

Shan Wright (33:55.784)
he was able to not pass out. We were able to like, you know, I felt like that was a big accomplishment that we did not pass out. And we were at the middle of a baseball game in 100 degree heat. And I was like able to like nurse him the whole time and make sure he did not pass out, help him with the deep breathing, pray over him, do all the things. And then we, yeah, we also went on this wellness journey with some vitamins and supplements that are

Jill O'Boyle (34:03.446)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (34:15.586)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (34:24.494)
clean adaptogens to help you, which adaptogens help take care of internal free radical stress that you're dealing with inside that internal stress I was talking about. He's been working out much more. He has been praying, reading, having fun. We went on a vacation. So like all these things are helping his whole person get well instead of putting the bandaid on and take this anti-anxiety medication and go see this neurologist who's going to recommend

Jill O'Boyle (34:42.464)
Yep.

Shan Wright (34:53.378)
therapy or surgery. And it's like that wasn't the problem. So it was like, I feel bad saying this. So cool to see. But it's a journey. We're still on the journey. He does have feeling. And I like that, that he's not numb everywhere and he is coping, but it is a constant. He knows he is prone to this. He is prone to anxiety. He is prone to that fight for.

Jill O'Boyle (34:55.616)
Yeah. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (35:05.1)
Well

Jill O'Boyle (35:10.198)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (35:19.616)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (35:22.798)
Fight, flight, freeze, and he does all of it very quickly. So he has to act quick and treat his body and care for it. And he can't slack on these holistic wellness treatments because once he starts slacking and say, well, I don't have time for that. I got this meeting and that meeting and that meeting, then it's going to come back because his body doesn't handle it well. So there you go.

Jill O'Boyle (35:23.392)
Fight. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (35:37.644)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (35:41.655)
Right.

Right.

Jill O'Boyle (35:48.61)
Yes, yeah. Did he eventually thank you and say, or sorry, Shan, that I didn't trust and believe you at first?

Shan Wright (35:56.718)
I don't know if he's really thanked me in words, but I think he does tell others when he explains what's been going on that I'm helping him. So I take that as a thank you.

Jill O'Boyle (36:08.864)
Yeah, that's so good. That's so good. And is he able to now stop it quicker? Like, you know, those triggers or when he's constantly busy at work or feeling overwhelmed, is he able to see, I've slipped back into some of my old habits. need to start, because I would say what I hear you saying is like making,

time for rest, making time for stillness, working out, getting outside, having scheduled date nights or family fun things to do. Like some of those things people, I think people dismiss, but what you're saying is those are like, they truly manage your stress level.

Shan Wright (36:55.894)
Yeah. So you, yes, he is the living client, but he's also, yeah, he is also my husband. So he's a little bit like, I can't tell him everything I would tell a client. And I can't be like, okay, this is what we're going to practice and what we're going to work on. Cause then it just wouldn't be great for our marriage. But

Jill O'Boyle (36:59.478)
So is he able to recognize it quicker? Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (37:10.613)
Right.

Shan Wright (37:20.204)
But yes, for the client, what I like to do is work on baby steps because once we hear, now I need to go see someone, maybe it's a chiropractor, maybe it's not, but I need to go see some holistic practitioner. I need to take some vitamins. I need to go to the gym and I need to pray and I need a journal. That sounds like a lot. I'm already stressed out. And so I tell them, no, we're not gonna do all of it. We're gonna take baby steps. So what we do is I talk to them about

Jill O'Boyle (37:31.618)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (37:45.558)
Yes.

Shan Wright (37:50.158)
In three months, where do you want to be? You want to be more calm and present and not lash out and not yell at your kids for a week straight. Like that's is a great goal. How are we going to get there? And we reverse engineer and get them baby steps towards that goal. And a lot of it is really hard, but good belief work. So that's where we start. We start with the beliefs.

And they might feel like, I'm not doing anything. But it's like, well, if you have these lies that are constantly feeding you information all day and these stories that are written in your head, that's where the anxiety is stemming from. So we have to get to the root first. And then you can start putting some of these things in practice. If you are like, I'm just going to go on a date and find a sitter and get all the things and just like you tell me that's going to make me better. Okay. It's like, no.

Jill O'Boyle (38:20.076)
Mm-hmm.

Shan Wright (38:42.03)
while you're on the date and you're still stressed out about what's going on with the kids at home and is the babysitter okay? that's defeating the purpose. So first we have to work on the beliefs and the thoughts. And that's really hard work. And that takes accountability because I've tried it before on my own. The only time I've been able to reprogram and rewire my beliefs and my thoughts, my neuron pathways actually, is when someone was holding me accountable to, you do your belief cards today?

Jill O'Boyle (38:52.619)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (39:11.362)
and then the next day, did you do your belief cards today? Because it is so hard to stay consistent in doing something that you really don't believe in at first. You're not sure about it. You're like, this really gonna work? And this doesn't sound like I'm actually doing anything. it takes two seconds, but we can push it off. So that is like in my holistic wellness accountability coaching, we first start with the beliefs and

Jill O'Boyle (39:21.408)
Right, right, right.

Jill O'Boyle (39:32.8)
Right. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (39:37.633)
Yeah.

Shan Wright (39:40.576)
I'm big on the accountability of holding you to doing them because if we don't, then we won't get anywhere really.

Jill O'Boyle (39:43.167)
Yeah, it's good.

Jill O'Boyle (39:47.884)
So when you say these belief cards, are you saying like, you help them establish, here's the belief that you're carrying throughout your life, and then, which is usually the lie, right? And so are you helping them to say, here's your belief, and now what is the real truth behind it? Is that what you mean?

Shan Wright (40:04.908)
Yes. Yeah, so with talking to them and through prayer, we kind of discover what is one of the main lies because we have a lot of them. We have a lot of negative thoughts that we think from over our life. And what's the main lie you're struggling with right now? we'll conquer one. Usually we'll conquer three at a time. So take the first three that are really big like I'm not enough. That is very common. I'm not enough. I'm not a good enough mom.

Jill O'Boyle (40:13.974)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (40:25.772)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (40:31.937)
very.

Yeah.

Shan Wright (40:34.826)
And the truth is you're incomparable. God made you a masterpiece. You are enough in him and he's given you good work to do. That is scripture. That is truth. And so the truth, what you're going to say, the belief card, I call it belief cards. It's people in different spaces call it different things. In the new age space, they call it affirmations, but I don't, those are not particular to you. So that is why I call it

Jill O'Boyle (40:40.619)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (40:51.787)
I like it.

Jill O'Boyle (40:59.858)
Mm. Right.

Shan Wright (41:04.502)
my mentor called it belief guards, but you're saying the belief, which is truth from scripture. I am enough in Christ. Like I am a good mom. know, whatever you're going opposite and you're going to say to yourself in the mirror and you're going to say it twice a day and it's going to sound like a lie at first and you're going to look at yourself in the eye and you don't lie to people in the eye. So you're going to do that and you're going to continue to do it. And in 20 days, it's proven that you will rewire

Jill O'Boyle (41:18.912)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:28.416)
Mmm.

Shan Wright (41:33.88)
those neuron pathways and you will change that negative thought to a positive thought and you will learn to believe that and the neurons connect and it is science, it's proven, it's scientific and it just takes doing it every day consistently for it to work.

Jill O'Boyle (41:51.264)
Yeah, it does. It does. And I've done that myself. I forget what my coach originally called them, but very similar, right? Figure out what are the lies that you've been saying to yourself and very much same. think many women feel that, you know, I'm not enough. I'm not worthy. You know, I'm a fake, whatever it is, you know, and then on the flip side, write the truth and find, find a real life example where that is an actual true statement. And I remember sitting

in that chair and doing those the first couple of times. And I'm like, this is dumb. I am, right? But it works. can, I'm a true testimony that it works. the more, just like anything, right? The more that you do something, the more you have to, we've, however old you are, right? 41 years, my brain has thought one thing. So for it to take it,

Instantly and say it in the mirror one time. It's not gonna change right like that's 41 years of just being driven over back and forth back and forth back and forth so we have to you have to be intentional about wanting to make the change and if you are then create the habit and Get into those belief cards and actually try to marinate on what is true and what is the lie? That's so good. That's so good So I would encourage anybody listening right now if you're struggling, you know with that word and it's just struggling with anxiety

Shan Wright (42:55.416)
Yes.

Shan Wright (43:03.042)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (43:12.81)
Shan you've given us so many things to take away like I'd love the communication around it and actually getting to the root of it Like what is the trigger? What is the trigger for you? How do you eliminate that trigger? What is the stress that you want to eliminate in your life? Like get can you get rid of it? How do you manage it? So many good things and the belief card is an excellent way to just start Getting in the habit. Yeah So Shan I know you have a podcast

Shan Wright (43:36.098)
Yeah, it's a starting point for sure.

Jill O'Boyle (43:42.362)
and this is something that you love to do is help women with their holistic wellness journey. So where's the best place for them to dive in with you or follow you and say your name of your podcast as well?

Shan Wright (43:57.942)
Yeah, my podcast is Holistic Moms and my website is TheShanRight. You can find my podcast there, how you can work with me, my Facebook community. You could also go directly to my Facebook community, which is bit.ly forward slash Holistic Hacks. It's Holistic Living for Christian Moms. And yeah, those are the great places. would love, I have one-on-one coaching where I'll coach

anyone through their beliefs and their actions and building these consistent healthy habits so that they can manage, actually not just manage, but live and thrive in their life.

Jill O'Boyle (44:38.85)
I love it. I love it. I love all that you're doing. I love your podcast. Love just following you. You always have just an encouraging message and words. So I encourage anybody listening, please give Shan a follow. She's a true testimony. Like four kids under the age of 12. I have two, 12 and eight. And they can add to the stress level. I would never change it for a world. They are my absolute joy. But I think any mom can say they can.

They can add to our stress level, but I love just the example you gave today on the shoes, because that is like, I'm like, I can't believe you just said that, because that was literally what came to my mind. And I'm sure every high achieving women, because we're all perfectionists and like our things tidy, I'm sure can relate to that. So awesome. Well, thanks again for joining and.

Shan Wright (45:16.802)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (45:28.972)
To all you listeners, thank you so much for joining. Thank you for listening. If you like this episode, make sure you give it a like, share it with your friends. That's the purpose is to share our life, our stories with others to help you, right? Do life better and navigate this crazy but beautiful life that we live in. so thank you for being here. Go out, make it a great day. Be you, love life and always rise up.