The Power of the Pause: Finding Clarity in a Busy World

In this episode, Jill and her guest, Wendy Paige Sterling delve into the transformative concept of "the power of the pause."  They explore how stepping back from the hustle culture can lead to reconnection with your intuition, clarity, and a deeper sense of authenticity.   Wendy shares her personal journey of overcoming challenges, highlighting how taking intentional pauses allowed her to recharge and rediscover her path. Listeners will gain practical insights on how pausing is not just a break but a powerful tool for personal growth, clarity, and long-term success.

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Transcript

Jill O'Boyle 
All right, well, hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Your Life, Your Story, Rise Up. I'm your host, Jill O'Boyle, and how are you all doing? It is literally like the first full week of October and I wanna say how, first of all. So we have three months to finish the year strong.

and navigate all the holiday gatherings, the Christmas shopping and everything else that comes with like this time of year. And so I think it's just beneficial for me to ask you again, like, how are you doing and how are you feeling? And have you really stopped to even check in with yourself? Like, have you taken any time for yourself to just pause and breathe? Because I know how easy it is to really just get caught up in that.

Busyness and tend to find ourselves just kind of losing touch with our own self and what we need and I know this time of year for sure I feel that anxiety sometimes creeping in as we get to the end of the year and think about all the things and the goals and did I reach it and what do I need to buy for Christmas so I Just know how easy it is to get caught up and get busy and I not only do I know this but I know that my guest knows this as well She can totally relate to this

So I'm joined today with Wendy Page Sterling and she's going to talk today specifically about the power of the pause. So I'm excited to bring her wisdom and knowledge to the podcast. She's going to help us navigate. I know these last three months. So Wendy, welcome to the podcast.

Wendy Paige Sterling (04:29.096)
Thank you, Jill. I'm so excited to be here and to share a topic with your audience today that we all resist, and yet it's exactly what's gonna get you through the rest of the year.

Jill O'Boyle (04:37.378)
Yup.

Jill O'Boyle (04:41.058)
Absolutely, absolutely. And you are the perfect guest because most of these women are very much high achieving women and men too that listen to this podcast. So I know they're going to relate and they're going to have some awesome takeaways. But before we dive in, I just want to give a little bit more about you. So I'm going to read a little bit more about your bio and then feel free to dive in anything else on here. just for our listeners, Wendy is an intuitive business coach and energy healer.

guiding high achieving women to break free from the hustle and reconnect with their true selves, combining intuitive coaching, theta healing and sound healing. Wendy helps women shift from constantly doing to confidently being. my goodness. Love that. And actually she speaks from her own personal experiences. So after navigating her own personal transformation, Wendy is passionate about helping career driven professionals who feel disconnected inside despite that external success.

Right? Anybody feel that sometimes? I know I have. So through one-to-one coaching, group programs, and retreats, she empowers women to find clarity, balance, and deep alignment, creating lives that feel authentic and fulfilling. Let's go! Like this is all what I love to talk about. So thank you again, Wendy, for being here. And anything else you want to add to that that I may have missed?

Wendy Paige Sterling (06:05.286)
I mean, where to begin? I always have something more to say and to add, but I will say that I think the timing of our conversation, Jill, is so perfect because we are in that Q4 hustle. I hate the word hustle and we can talk about that too.

Jill O'Boyle (06:16.338)
Mm Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (06:20.712)
But I just think that this conversation is so incredibly important, especially now as we are heading into the last three months of the year, because I don't know about you, but everybody I know, including myself, are sort of feeling this push, right? This push and this rush to finish the year strong and let's push through and let's do this and.

Jill O'Boyle (06:28.578)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (06:38.968)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (06:45.752)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (06:47.782)
I think that it's great and there's a whole other way that we can close out the year that I think is going to support everyone listening way more than the hustle culture that we've been trained to embrace and think it's badge of honor. So yeah, so I'm excited to talk about this. I think the timing is perfect.

Jill O'Boyle (07:02.094)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (07:08.79)
Yes, I completely agree. And so I wanna ask you that, you so you mentioned you hate the word hustle, you know, all the push of performance and goals and all of this thing. So I wanna ask you what inspired you to kind of reframe your mindset around that and develop this concept of the power and the pause and how has that impacted your own life?

Wendy Paige Sterling (07:33.438)
Yeah, great question. You know, I, I am an control freak. I'm a type A personality. I am a doer. I love crossing stuff off my list. And that's just been who I am until I realized that it was a facade.

Jill O'Boyle (07:44.504)
Yup.

Jill O'Boyle (07:53.582)
you

Wendy Paige Sterling (07:54.63)
And it really was not fulfilling to me. It was something that I saw as, you know, external validation. was a people pleaser. I was all these, these things. And now granted, it's, it served me up until it didn't. And it was kind of in that one moment where everything just came crashing down around me because that way of being just was not serving me anymore.

Jill O'Boyle (08:21.609)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (08:23.33)
And many times I think it comes in the form of a wake up call. And I had really just been on autopilot for decades, if we're being honest here. And being on autopilot worked until it didn't. And it didn't anymore the day that I realized that my 15 year marriage was coming to an end when I discovered that my now ex-husband was having an affair. And it really was that moment that forced me to just,

I mean, the wind was knocked out of me, literally. And I had no other choice than to take a breath and to really go inward and figure out how the heck did I get here? How the heck did this happen? How did I contribute to this? And I really had to pause.

Jill O'Boyle (08:55.778)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (09:16.97)
I, there was no other way about it. I was a mom to two kids. They were seven and 10 at the time. I knew that I could keep my career moving in the background, but at the same time, I knew that there was something in me that needed to shift. And it really took me going inward and gifting myself with that time and saying that like,

Jill O'Boyle (09:34.988)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (09:39.62)
you know, it's the metaphor of like, you know, being on an airplane, if you don't put your oxygen mask on first, you know, you can't save your kids, right? And so I had always been somebody who, you know, family came first, my husband came first, my kids came first. And this was the moment where it was like, my God, if I do not give myself oxygen, I am not going to be able to take care of my kids. I'm not going to make the best decisions for my future self.

Jill O'Boyle (09:45.836)
Right? Right.

Jill O'Boyle (10:02.914)
bright.

Wendy Paige Sterling (10:04.112)
And so that was kind of my first experience of really understanding what the pause was all about. The second time came again, which happened when my mom passed away. My mom...

Jill O'Boyle (10:09.515)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (10:19.036)
My story is that my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer the same day that I actually asked my ex husband for a divorce. And so my mom and I were on this journey together. And it was really when she passed away where that that next level of pause really set in for me. It's not that I wasn't gifting myself with the pause, but I would quickly default back into doing and then it was sort of like this yo-yo where I would be, you know, dancing back and forth between the doing and the being. And it was really when my

Jill O'Boyle (10:35.126)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (10:47.342)
Mmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (10:48.922)
mom passed away that I just everything around me froze. I was numb. I was paralyzed. I could only function to an ability and life literally forced me to just have to literally hit the freeze button. It was more than a pause. It was a freeze button.

And it was in that time that I was really able to connect a lot deeper with God because of course, like I was angry, I was mad. How could you take her from me? Right? And it was in a moment where I just, was praying and I remember that I was sitting on the floor here in my office and I had this moment where I was talking to God and I was like, how could you do this? How could you take her from me? She is my best friend. Like you took my marriage, you took, now you're taking my mom from me. And I remember

Jill O'Boyle (11:19.49)
Right?

Wendy Paige Sterling (11:40.428)
hearing God say to me, she's gonna help you better here. She has to be with me to serve you. She is going to serve you better where she is. And it was this moment, I'm getting like full body chills, like it was in this moment that I was like, wait, what? Like, what? You had to take her to her? Like, and then it hit me and I was like, okay. So my mom,

Jill O'Boyle (11:50.622)
Hmm. Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (12:07.578)
is one of my guides. has always been my biggest fan. She's always been my biggest supporter.

Jill O'Boyle (12:12.952)
Yep.

Wendy Paige Sterling (12:13.894)
And I realized that the shape that her body was in was no longer serving her, it wasn't serving me. And so it was really in this moment with my mom where all of a sudden, when God had said this to me, I was like, I get it. And I heard her say, like, I will send you messages and you will know that it's me. Like, I'm here, I'm here with you. And so I took the next nine months to really deepen my connection with my mom on the other side, deepen my faith in God and really

Jill O'Boyle (12:41.932)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (12:43.82)
build in this trust and surrender to a whole new level. And what I came to realize was that it really was that trust and surrender that I had been leaning on since my divorce, to be honest, that it's guided me not only in the decisions that I've made for myself and my life and for my children, but it's also guided me in the decisions that I've made about my business. I was a really successful divorce recovery coach, built a seven figure business. And then when my

mom passed away, part of the message that she said to me was, Wendy, it's time for you to like, the world gets to know how gifted you are.

The world gets to know that you have this vision for people that they can't see for themselves, but you can see it. And it's time for you to teach them how it is that you do what you do. Like, I will help you, I will guide you. And so here we are, right? Long answer to your question, but here we are now where I'm now in this place where I know when I pause, I know sometimes it comes in ways that we don't want, it comes in ways that we don't ask for.

Jill O'Boyle (13:49.634)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (13:52.116)
And yet at the same time, there's so much incredible beauty on the other side, even more so than you think is possible when you're trying to control everything and when you're in the doing energy. It really is in that surrender is when the best, the flow, the ease comes. And it's really just a matter of allowing yourself the opportunity to really gift yourself with your intuition, your

Jill O'Boyle (14:02.37)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (14:11.554)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (14:21.102)
inner I can voice that whisper and really trust that the messages that are coming in. And they're not going to come in if you stay if you stay in the fear if you stay in the hustle if you stay in the noise, you're going to miss it and you're just delaying and you know delaying out what is rightfully yours. So

Jill O'Boyle (14:33.805)
right.

Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (14:41.902)
Right, thank you for sharing that. I know 100 % and I know the listeners that are listening have heard my story as well and it is. Sometimes it's in those rock bottom moments where we get to a point where we have, just like you said, you found out your husband's having an affair and you're like, how in the world was I blindsided by this?

And we live in this hustle mentality and this sense of control, that if we're in control, well then everything's gonna go our way. Well, in your story and in my story, that necessarily didn't happen, right? So why do you think so many of us women, because I know there's women listening and they can relate and they're like, I wanna surrender, I wanna let go of that control. I want to not live

Wendy Paige Sterling (15:22.045)
No.

Jill O'Boyle (15:35.23)
in the hustle and the busy. But I have this huge pressure to just keep moving. I have this pressure that if I'm not in control, things are just going to fall apart. And this talk of just pausing sounds so far fetched for me. mean, what is your advice to the women that are, know, these thoughts are racing through their mind. Why is it so important that they do embrace it? Or what do you have to advice for them?

Wendy Paige Sterling (16:04.274)
Yeah, you know, I think that there's a fear around pausing, right? Because we think that it's weak. We think that it's selfish. We think that, you know, we're wasting time, right? And I'm inviting everyone, even if it's just listening to this podcast right now to just, you know, if you have to physically like take a step over a line to just open yourself up to what I'm about to say, and it's the land of possibility, right?

Jill O'Boyle (16:16.046)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (16:33.356)
Hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (16:34.6)
There is this mentality that the pause means that there's no momentum. And what I'm here to reveal to you, because it's not only through my own experiences and successes, it's through the thousands of clients that I have taught this to, right? Is when you gift yourself with the opportunity to slow down and to pause.

There is a stronger momentum in the pause, an accelerated momentum in the pause that is going to project you at a faster pace than if you stay in the hustle energy.

Jill O'Boyle (17:15.244)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (17:16.048)
If you stay in this hustle energy, there is so much static. It's like the image that I'm seeing right now, it's like you literally are staying in sort of like a meteor storm. You are staying in the storm of like, you know, stuff flying at your face and you're just like in triage mode every two seconds, right? Versus if you gift yourself with the calm of space, literal and figurative guys, like literal universe space

Jill O'Boyle (17:34.343)
Yes!

Jill O'Boyle (17:42.702)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (17:46.004)
and energetic space, you are going to feel an energy, frequency that is going to propel you at infinite speed. And so I would just invite you, right? How is being in a hustle supporting you? How's it going? How does it feel?

Jill O'Boyle (18:07.915)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (18:09.394)
I'm gonna imagine like it's maybe a facade of like you think you're getting shit done. I'm here to kind of be bold and disruptive because that's who I am and I'm telling you it's a crock of shit and I hope it's okay that I'm swearing, Jill. But like it's total bullshit, you guys. What is possible on the other side is so much more. There's so much greater possibility for you if you just let yourself be. Just sit, be with your thoughts.

Jill O'Boyle (18:19.788)
Yeah, absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (18:39.28)
I'm not sitting here telling you to meditate on a pillow and do X, Y, Z. I honestly, that does not work for me. I am not somebody that sits on a pillow. I am somebody who sometimes in the morning before I get out of bed, I will have a conversation with God and I will like go.

inside. Sometimes it's when I'm on the treadmill, I have great moments of connection with myself, my higher self, God. But if you are not gifting yourself these moments of pause, you are not giving yourself the opportunity to connect with a higher power. I say that God speaks to me through my intuition. And if I am not giving myself moments of pause, then I am completely disconnected from my higher, my higher faith, my higher being divinity, call it whatever it is that

Jill O'Boyle (19:09.976)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (19:13.678)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (19:21.538)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (19:25.05)
you want.

So I'm just inviting you today, five minutes. I know each of you can create five minutes in your day. Maybe it is when you are about to fall asleep at night. Five minutes, just be present. Try to silence your mind, but don't be angry and get into judgment with yourself about it. Just be with your thoughts and be like, okay, yeah, thank you. Let's move on, right? Like just let yourself be and see what comes in. Ask questions, right? Like, how am I supposed to serve my clients today?

Jill O'Boyle (19:42.369)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (19:51.01)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (19:56.872)
What is it that is gonna create something that is gonna serve the most people today? Or what is it that I how am I supposed to help my son right? My son is super sick. He's in college He's across the country and I am like it's killing me as a mom to not be able to make him homemade chicken noodle soup So I am tapping in and asking God how can I support my son? What is it that I can do for him today, right? So this is for any part of your life I'm begging you guys just try it and just see what is possible because I'm gonna bet

Jill O'Boyle (20:01.33)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (20:12.791)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (20:26.652)
that the way it's going is feeling hard, it's feeling messy, it's feeling stuck, it's feeling scarce. Try something new. Just try.

Jill O'Boyle (20:33.506)
Yeah, yeah, because we don't know unless we try, right? And when you were talking about that hustle mentality and you're like, you know, I'm calling it bullshit. I'm gonna disrupt it because I related to that. Like I felt like every day of my life, I use the analogy of the hamster wheel. Like I was always going, I was always going, I was always going, I was always going, but where was I going? Nowhere, I was going nowhere.

Wendy Paige Sterling (20:39.624)
Wendy Paige Sterling (20:51.293)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (20:58.636)
Right? And I think many of us live that life. feel like if our calendars are jam packed, if we stay consistently busy, if we are working longer hours, well, we are being productive and it's a lie that we tell ourselves. And so I 100 % know and can validate whatever everything that Wendy has just said. You know, I had to find that in my own, you know, rock bottom moment, but that pause was so crucial. And so when I hear you talk about

the pause, I want to reiterate what you said. It's not sitting down in a meditation state on a pillow. If that works for you, fantastic, great. And I think high achieving women need to hear that because I think they hear pause and their mentality, those two words don't work in their brain. Like how do I pause? I don't know how. You just want me to sit still and just be in silence. And so you're saying pause is really...

Wendy Paige Sterling (21:35.39)
Great.

Jill O'Boyle (21:53.164)
You can incorporate that in all the different ways. Like you said, on the treadmill, just asking the higher, you know, a higher God, what are some other practical ways for people right now that are trying to think about, I need to pause, but I don't know how to pause. And then how do I feel like I can pause without losing my momentum? You know, if they're still thinking that that hamster whale is working for them.

Wendy Paige Sterling (22:13.885)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, listen, I there's days where I'll sit down and I'll journal, you know, and I won't journal from my head, right? I will just put a pen in my hand, have a piece of paper, you know, have my journal in front of me and just start. Sometimes I'll start with a question, right? Like, what is it that I need to know today? And I will just let my pen, right? Without judgment, without consideration, and whatever is coming in, in those moments, I just will write stuff down. I actually just did this exercise about a week ago.

Jill O'Boyle (22:21.954)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (22:29.826)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (22:37.59)
Mmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (22:47.669)
Because I was looking for some more clarity around how it was that I was supposed to show up not supposed to but how I get to show up in my highest and best and all of a sudden my pen just started writing this stuff that I was like, my god I didn't even know that this was still playing out in the background, right? And it really sunk me into a place of deeper gratitude, which I wasn't expecting Right. So journal sometimes it's going out in nature. Like maybe it's very

Jill O'Boyle (22:52.013)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (23:04.397)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (23:10.445)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (23:16.564)
foot in the grass with your feet. Maybe it's taking a walk. I mean, I have a dog, I take him on at least two walks a day. And there's times where I will just put meditation music on in my ears, because I like the music. It's like I feel like I'm at a spa to be totally honest with you. So I put like my meditation music on, I'll just walk with my dog and I just get present in nature, like, I'll see beautiful flowers and you know, or I will see butterflies or I will, which is my mom's sign to me. And in that moment, I will

Jill O'Boyle (23:27.948)
Right,

Jill O'Boyle (23:44.856)
Love that.

Wendy Paige Sterling (23:46.37)
like, you know, have gratitude, right? Like, you guys, whatever works for you, whatever gets you back in touch with yourself. And like I said, there's different moments of the day where I'm desiring a different way to connect. Sometimes it's laying in bed, sometimes it's journaling, sometimes it's on the treadmill, sometimes it's on a walk with my dog. Sometimes it's like, I'll take a nap and I'll ask, you know, during the day and I'll ask for like messages to come in while I'm asleep, right? Or dreams will come through.

Jill O'Boyle (23:54.2)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (24:08.556)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (24:16.196)
right? Like, whatever it is that works for you, just trust it. And it's not selfish. Like, I am here to tell you it is not selfish for you to take five minutes of your day and just give it to yourself. It is not selfish. It is selfless. And I don't love the word self care. What I like to call it is like it's self nourishment. Like you've got to be able to water your own garden before you tend to somebody else's. It is

Jill O'Boyle (24:32.514)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (24:44.93)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (24:46.181)
so important. So whatever that looks like for you, just do it.

Jill O'Boyle (24:50.51)
that's so good. It's not selfish. It's selfless. That is great advice. Great advice. Why do we as women tend to feel like that? Why do we carry this burden that we cannot take time for ourselves? What is behind that?

Wendy Paige Sterling (25:07.411)
I mean, I'm sure there's some psychology behind that that I am not, you know, I don't have the answers to but I just think that I think that it's a gender stereotype. I mean, I really do. I think that we are just ingrained or you know, we've seen it, we've learned it. Like, I mean, listen, I my mom, my mom was a stay at home mom. She stayed home, she her priority and her

Jill O'Boyle (25:16.91)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (25:33.5)
job was to tend to my sister and I, it was to get us to school, homework, laundry, housekeeping, right? Like, and that was her role. And so, and even, you know, as a memory, like I remember, you know, when at first when I got married and, know, I had a career and I was in corporate America, I was super successful. And I remember after I had kids, I was, I thought that I wanted to stay home.

Jill O'Boyle (25:38.38)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (25:59.79)
And because I was like, well, that's what my mom did. That's what I get to do. Right. And then when I had my my oldest, I remember going, my God, I do not want to stay home. Like, this is not who I am. And I will tell you, I had mom guilt. I can't. I had mom guilt over whether or not to breastfeed. I had mom guilt over going back to work. I had mom guilt about the hours I kept at work.

Jill O'Boyle (26:01.26)
Right. Yup.

Jill O'Boyle (26:14.69)
Yep, it's a real thing.

Jill O'Boyle (26:24.769)
Yeah. Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (26:25.446)
I mean, it was everywhere. And I think that it is a lot of it is society's expectations of us and our fear of judgment.

Jill O'Boyle (26:29.908)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (26:32.902)
right? The guilt comes from other our fear of other people judging us. And I'll tell you, I think my divorce even really taught me like to not give a shit anymore. Like other I think it was Rachel Hollis who said like other people's opinions are none of your goddamn business. I had the goddamn but like, are none of your business, right? It's like, you don't live my life, you have absolutely no idea what is happening here. And maybe on social media, you have an inkling of what my family looks like mazel tov. Congratulations. But

Jill O'Boyle (26:48.384)
And it's so true. It's so true. Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (27:02.826)
At the end of the day, it's like, you have no idea what my life is like. So if I am making a decision that maybe you disagree with, if I hear people's opinions, I know that it's about them. I know that they have an issue, that there are some wounds that they're dealing with that they're projecting onto me. And I know how to create that shield of like, I'm not taking that in. So I would invite everybody listening today is to really think about, do you take that in? Are you taking in other people's opinions?

Jill O'Boyle (27:08.973)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (27:18.168)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (27:29.1)
Mmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (27:33.048)
to your inability to really lead an authentic existence, to really show up in your truth. Because if you're not, then that tells me that you're living in fear and you're not giving yourself more opportunities for pause. But back to your question about why do women do this, I honestly think it's because we want to look good. We want the badge, right? We want external validation that like you're doing this, this badge of recognition.

Jill O'Boyle (28:00.834)
Right. It's a badge of recognition. I completely agree with that. And I especially think for high achieving women who have that drive for performance and achievements and accolades, like they are constantly in a battle of proving their own worth, which let me tell you, you have nothing to prove, right? Like you are worthy of everything. But I do think we tend to just push so hard. And it is with this still, which is crazy.

Wendy Paige Sterling (28:02.592)
then.

Wendy Paige Sterling (28:10.194)
Yes. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (28:31.406)
2024 and there's still that belief that we have to do that. I want to go back earlier you had mentioned really tapping into your intuition. And so I would love for you to talk a little bit about that. Like how does this pausing being finding some time to just truly pause help women reconnect with their intuition and then how does that help them in everyday life as well as their professional development?

Wendy Paige Sterling (28:36.328)
Yep. Yep.

Wendy Paige Sterling (29:01.638)
Yeah, I mean, the easiest way that I can share and and you know what I teach is many times we confuse our intuition with fear. And many times we don't know how to distinguish the two. And so I'll start there.

Jill O'Boyle (29:14.722)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (29:18.662)
and we can kind of, you know, play through each one and I'll explain how you guys can do this for yourselves. So your intuition is gonna be that calm, quiet little voice that's a nudge. It's just like a little poke, like, hey there, remember me, right? And.

Jill O'Boyle (29:35.054)
Yep.

Wendy Paige Sterling (29:41.136)
I would invite you to really go into your body. think, you know, so many times people talk about like, it's mind over body. It actually isn't. It is body over mind. It is the other way around. I'm inviting you all to like completely like flip the script. It is about your body. So when you are operating from an intuitive place, there is a calm knowing that you have no evidence to back up.

Jill O'Boyle (29:53.484)
I love that.

Jill O'Boyle (29:57.292)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (30:10.546)
But there's just this calm understanding of like, okay, I get it. I hear it. Okay, well, interesting versus when it's fear, fear is all about survival mode. It is panic. is anxiety. is like smacking you upside the head. It is like ridden with so much like high energy that like has you in this like panic.

Jill O'Boyle (30:36.526)
Hmm.

Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (30:39.364)
fight or flight state. Okay. And so when your fear is talking to you, it is trying to keep you safe. So it's coming in hot and heavy, right? my God, what are you going to do? Remember the last time? Right. You can feel the difference. And so how does that feel in your body? Like, where do you feel it in your body? Like I can tell you when I am in a massive state of panic, holy crap, my chest is like on fire. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (30:53.26)
Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (31:07.196)
Versus when my intuition is talking to me. I'm like, well, hello solar plexus and say girl chakra How are you doing today? Right? Like that's where I feel my intuition versus fear is and panic is like in my chest and it rises to my throat

Jill O'Boyle (31:21.388)
Hmm... Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (31:24.38)
That is my own sensation. So I invite everybody listening, go into both states and see where in your body you're feeling it. And with every decision, every thought, every belief, granted, I know that it's, and I'm not perfect, I do this every second of every day either. I also know now, like I'm so in the practice of knowing what is intuitive and what isn't, that it's more organic, but I would invite you to just kind of like take, maybe it's an hour, like take an

Jill O'Boyle (31:46.979)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (31:54.304)
hour and kind of play with this and you know listen to the sensations that are happening in your body and start making decisions from the places where your intuition is speaking to you so if you hear the fear I would invite you to acknowledge the fear okay I think this is I like

Jill O'Boyle (31:55.586)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (32:00.61)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (32:15.078)
I'm sensing this is fear based. So thank you for trying to keep me safe and this is not gonna serve me. So, okay, God intuition, what is the direction? What is the decision? What is this? What is that? And start with like little baby steps. Like, what do you want for lunch? Right? Maybe it's a...

you know, should I work out today? Like baby steps, this doesn't have to be like, am I staying in my marriage? Am I closing down the doors to my business? Like start with little breadcrumbs and yeah, and just play with it and just kind of see like, okay, is this coming from fear? this coming from intuition? And it starts with this baby step of awareness, right? Awareness of where in your body is the sensation and is it fear? Is it intuition?

Jill O'Boyle (32:45.119)
Small. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (32:53.144)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (33:02.672)
And then that's step one. Just play with step number one for a little bit and see how that goes.

Jill O'Boyle (33:04.44)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (33:08.364)
That is so good. And I love the analogy of, know, intuition is just that calm. So if you, if you really start practicing it, it will be peace and you'll be a calmness or a knowing. I love that. You just like this, you don't know why, but you just know that, you know, that, you know, this is the right thing to do where that fear is controlled by the mind. And the only, the thing that what I'm hearing you say, you know, as our mind is really safe, comfort, security, right? Always wants to keep us.

just safe, secure, comfortable. And so usually that fear is stuck, exactly. And so I love what you said is just like, have the conversation. Like just start communicating around those feelings that you're having. Okay, I feel you fear, I sense you coming on. Okay, intuition, God, what do you have to say about this? And just having those conversations as baby steps.

Wendy Paige Sterling (33:42.874)
aka stuck.

Jill O'Boyle (34:06.786)
I actually have a funny example of that as you were talking about just small little steps like what am I having for lunch today? When I was going to my end of the year, not the end of the year, I had left my corporate job and they were having a party for my exit. And I went into my closet and I just like felt like don't wear the white shirt. Like I already had planned in my mind I'm wearing the white shirt. And I just heard don't wear the white shirt. And I'm like, no, I'm wearing the white shirt.

So I wore the white shirt because that's what I had picked out in my mind. That's what I wanted to wear. And so, you know, it's, I'm leaving. I'm the center of attention, right? Everybody's coming to the party to wish me well on my new adventure. And what happens at the party? Red wine all down the front of the white shirt. Call it what you want. But I was like, I heard that voice say, don't wear the white shirt. This is clearly why I should not have worn the white shirt. So, you know, it can guide you.

Wendy Paige Sterling (35:04.286)
Well, and you know what that is? was, I heard that was for you was like the need to be right. I'm wearing my white shirt. I'm gonna be right. Like your ego wanted to win, right? So, yeah, yeah. Yep.

Jill O'Boyle (35:09.888)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (35:14.542)
That's really good. Yeah, very good. And that sense of control over that situation, right? Yeah, that is good. So let's talk about some things that, know, this is some, as I opened up, you know, this is things that you work with your clients on. Can you share some examples of, you know, clients that you've worked with where they have just had a powerful shift with actually trying to step off the hustle mode, the busy mode, and start actually doing

intentional pauses and what kind of experiences have happened. Any cool stories that you have to share?

Wendy Paige Sterling (35:51.164)
Yeah. yeah. mean, literally this happened days ago. And I just like, just like so proud of my client. So I, I've been working with this woman for over a year and you know, we had some, some healing and some other work to get through. know, over the summer she kept defaulting back into what she was good at with her business, but yet her heart and her soul were craving something different.

And so we had a call just a week ago, you guys. Like, I'm not kidding you. This is like how fresh this is. We had a call a week ago and we did some deep inner work. You know, I am also an energy healer and I just, have this gift in this way to be able to really kind of see people's paths and to see people's...

you know, sort of the grid of the how for them. And on this call with her, when we were doing the healing together around, you know, what her human self was telling her was going on, which by the way, is not always really not what's going on under the surface, subconsciously. So we were doing this work together. And I remember I was I was inviting her to like really go inward to go into her heart center, right? Your intuition comes from the heart. And, know, wherever the

Jill O'Boyle (36:47.086)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (37:00.236)
Mm-hmm

Jill O'Boyle (37:12.898)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (37:15.328)
sensation is from your body in there. And so we did some work around that and we, we visioned for her sort of like this, this whole new platform for her. And at first she was like, my God, my audience is going to be so confused. I was talking about this other thing last week and now I'm coming out. And, know, we kind of had this moment where I was just like, you know,

Jill O'Boyle (37:24.835)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (37:40.616)
They're not like you're giving them way too much credit. They don't have that much time on their hands where they're like, wait, she was doing this last week. And I'm like, they're not, they're just listening to you, right? And so she was like, this is, you know, she's like, feel like, you know.

Jill O'Boyle (37:42.798)
Right? Time on their head.

Jill O'Boyle (37:49.955)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (37:57.244)
you know, she she was in a little bit of resistance, like her human was in resistance of what her heart and her intuition and her higher self were telling her to do. And so I was like, you know, meditate her version of meditation, right, like sit with it and see what births tomorrow. Well, an hour later, I see her posts on social media, and she is full fledged into this offer in this program that we created together on our call.

And within one day, she made more than she had the entire month before because of that offer.

because of that program, because she listened and was speaking from that authentic place, right? She was freaking out the month before about her income, about her revenue, and boom, literally, you guys, by the second day of the month of October, she had already brought in more money than she had the month before. And she had three more people lining up to sign up for this program. And this is the power, right? It's like, but...

Jill O'Boyle (38:39.0)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Jill O'Boyle (38:50.658)
Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (39:03.94)
The energy that she had been in the month before was do do do I should do this I should like she was shooting all over herself right and it just listen I am not somebody that comes at my clients with judgment it is like okay let's see what's getting in the way of you really stepping in let's do the work let's do the energy let's do the deep belief work and free

Jill O'Boyle (39:09.698)
Yeah, right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (39:25.394)
kind of the static of what's getting in the way. And it's amazing what happens when you're really able to remove the static, fully step in, own it, embrace it. And she was like, I forgot how easy it is for me to write this. I forgot how easy it was for me to create this. And I was like, okay, where do you feel it? Because that's what you want to tap into every time you're thinking about doing something new. Tap into that. And if you don't get that same feeling, it's a no.

Jill O'Boyle (39:26.048)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (39:31.214)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (39:43.256)
my gosh.

Jill O'Boyle (39:54.478)
Mmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (39:56.328)
So that's my favorite exam. I mean, literally this was a week ago and I just am like, I loved it. I got to celebrate her and you know, and so she's like, okay, what's next? I was like, okay, let's, what's next? It's awesome. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Jill O'Boyle (39:59.23)
I love that. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (40:06.06)
What?

Jill O'Boyle (40:09.804)
Go back and talk to your intuition about what's next, right? And what's exciting you now? I love that, I love that, because as I'm listening to that, my takeaway from that is I think we are, we as human beings are so creatures of habits and patterns. And so we get stuck because we keep doing the same habits and we think we're gonna get different results. And so it sounds like she was on this journey that was

Wendy Paige Sterling (40:35.601)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (40:38.422)
either she felt like she started something and then the view of what other people are gonna say to us too, we tend to live in that world of thinking about so many people are watching us that really they're not. But if we can break those habits, we can break those patterns, we can dive deep into what our true intuition, fulfillment and joy is saying and just give it a shot. Like look at the freedom that came from that and the joy that she had.

without worry of what, okay, I'm just gonna do this. It's not what I've been doing. It's not what I thought it was gonna be, but I'm just gonna try it out. Like what's the worst thing that can happen if you just try it out, right? that is so good. Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (41:05.745)
Yep.

Wendy Paige Sterling (41:09.79)
right?

Wendy Paige Sterling (41:20.028)
Yeah, we're so afraid of failing.

So good, but it's like we're so afraid of failing and it's like, well, who knows that you failed besides you? So who gives a shit? Like who cares? Okay, well guess what? I launched an offer that no one bought and I didn't sit here and go, you major screw up, Wendy. I was like, clearly there was something in the delivery and I realized, yeah, because this didn't feel like this one little part did not feel authentic and I felt forced. And I think it also brings up another point that you're saying too, if I may say,

Jill O'Boyle (41:29.152)
Yeah, right.

Jill O'Boyle (41:35.939)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (41:47.31)
Mmm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (41:53.042)
curious to know if you feel the same way is like I almost feel like you know other coaches and other mentors and folks out there you know it's like do it this way do it this way and this is what gets me results and it's like cookie cutter this and cookie cutter that and I'm like

Jill O'Boyle (41:54.123)
Yeah.

Wendy Paige Sterling (42:09.45)
I literally, I have wiped my slate of like what it's supposed to be or what other people are doing and thinking that my business has to look that way. And that was honestly, that was something really big for my client because she was like, well, other mentors have told me and I'm like, fuck the other mentors, excuse me. But I'm like, what feels good for you? Like you don't, if, having a 90 day plan feels like really awful to you, then don't do a 90 day plan. Maybe let's do a 30 day plan. How does

Jill O'Boyle (42:25.292)
That's worse.

Jill O'Boyle (42:29.399)
Right.

Wendy Paige Sterling (42:39.264)
30 days feel right just like that I can do I'm like great then let's attack it in 30 days right but I feel like there's like this culture around we all have to be the same we all have to it's like what happened to the time where it's like it's okay to do business differently it's okay to be different let's talk about why it's working for you and why it's not working for me and I'll share what's working for me that clearly it doesn't work for you but at the end of the day it's all energy like literally you guys like if your energy

Jill O'Boyle (42:42.036)
Let's do that. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (42:48.814)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (42:54.252)
Yes!

Jill O'Boyle (43:02.798)
100%. Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (43:09.344)
is not at a high vibration that is attractive to people, it's not gonna work. mean, think about when you walk into a room, right? Like when you walk into a room, you can feel like, don't wanna be here or you walk up to a group of people and you're just like, I'm gonna turn around and walk away and go somewhere else.

Jill O'Boyle (43:14.261)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (43:25.89)
Mm.

Wendy Paige Sterling (43:27.92)
Trust that it's the same thing as you're building a business like it's this energy like everything is energy and and I feel like we've trained ourselves to not pay attention to what we're feeling in those moments because god what are people gonna say god what are people gonna think god I don't want to be the pain in the ass god I don't want to be rejected like my god please people like I'm begging you

Jill O'Boyle (43:37.833)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (43:48.643)
Yes.

Yeah. Yes. Wendy is giving you permission right now to stand in authority right now of who you are. Trust your own intuition. Like, and I am too. I cannot, I mean, I will preach all day long about, you know, owning who you are and just showing up because what works for somebody else doesn't. And especially for the women right now that are listening that are sitting in a corporate job right now, too. I know this happened to me so many times where I

Wendy Paige Sterling (43:57.758)
I

Wendy Paige Sterling (44:03.462)
Yeah!

Wendy Paige Sterling (44:09.693)
Yes.

Wendy Paige Sterling (44:17.533)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (44:19.66)
absolutely know that I have a creative mind and I can think differently about things and I can, I have my own thoughts and there'd be so many times I would sit in that board meeting and thinking about the right thing to say but then muting my voice because of fear, well, I think this is what really we should do next but I'm not gonna say it because maybe that's a dumb idea and I'm gonna downplay it. Well, I'm telling you right now, like.

Wendy Paige Sterling (44:32.338)
you

Jill O'Boyle (44:43.738)
half the time I wouldn't say it and then somebody else would say it and everybody would go on the bandwagon. I'm like, I thought about that 30 minutes ago and I didn't say it. Like, so just trust your, like what you say, what you want to say, trust your intuition. Like you, every single one of us were uniquely designed with amazing strengths and talents and gifts. I say that all the time, but I really, think Wendy is drilling at home too. Like believe that and actually own it. And

Wendy Paige Sterling (44:51.71)
you

Jill O'Boyle (45:11.446)
and go back to that pause to find that too.

Wendy Paige Sterling (45:12.264)
Well, it's also about having...

Yeah, it's honestly, it's about having the courage to build your own table. And you may be the only one there for a little while, but people will come, right? If you build it, they will come. It really is true. And it takes an exhort, like it takes incredible courage to lead with your intuition. I get it. It's scary and it's foreign and it's unknown.

Jill O'Boyle (45:20.336)
Mmm, that's so good.

Jill O'Boyle (45:27.105)
Mmm.

Jill O'Boyle (45:34.861)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (45:41.731)
Yep.

Wendy Paige Sterling (45:43.13)
And yet I'm here to tell you that every single time I have allowed my intuition to lead, the results have been bigger and better than when I try to control. And so I invite you to just have the courage to build your own table and invite people to it. And if they come great and if they don't, they're not your people and it's okay.

Jill O'Boyle (45:53.944)
Yeah, 100%.

Jill O'Boyle (46:02.582)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (46:08.148)
Yeah, absolutely. I love this conversation and I really just really want to tell anybody listening, especially if you relate to what we were just talking about, we are going into those. I don't want to call it a hustle three months because it doesn't have to be. But if you have that mindset where you're already having so much anxiety and fear, try Wendy's advice, like grab a journal or go on a walk and take intentional time.

to pause and to find some stillness in your day because I guarantee you, I'm a testimony of this like several, several years ago, finally sitting down in the blue chair behind me and forcing myself. I felt like it was a force at first and now it's like, I can't wait to go sit down in that blue chair to see what comes up and all the feelings, but just try it. And just like you said, have that communication around those feelings, what's going on.

I guarantee you will not regret it 100%. Well, thank you, Wendy. So where can listeners find more about you? Where do you hang out on social or best place for them to find out more and connect with you?

Wendy Paige Sterling (47:21.598)
Yeah, I social media at Wendy Page Sterling and page is spelled P-A-I-G-E. I would also invite you guys to check out my podcast, The Power and the Pause. Jill will be a guest coming up very soon. And actually.

Jill O'Boyle (47:32.002)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (47:45.206)
Yeah, it did, but it doesn't say that on my... it's still recording, showing recording on my end, so...

Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (48:07.755)
Yay!

Jill O'Boyle (48:20.898)
Good.

Jill O'Boyle (48:28.77)
Yes, thank you so much for being here. Truly appreciate it. All right, everybody, that's it for today. Go out and make it a great day. Be you, love life, and always rise up.