Life is Short - Let Go to Truly Live

In this episode, Jill explores the concept of adventure and its significance in our lives. She shares her personal experiences from a recent women's retreat, emphasizing the importance of stepping away from the hustle and bustle of daily life to reconnect with oneself. Jill discusses the challenges of letting go of control, the joy of embracing fear, and the transformative power of unplugging from the world. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own adventures and consider taking leaps of faith in their lives.

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Transcript

Jill O'Boyle (00:02.347)
Well, hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Your Life, Your Story, Rise Up. I'm your host, Jill O 'Boyle. How are y 'all doing today? I hope you are having a fabulous day, fabulous week, wherever you are. Thank you so much for tuning in. I truly appreciate it. And hey, if any of my episodes have been resonating, I hope that you are sharing them with your friends, your coworkers, your husband, your spouse.

just share the message. That is what this podcast is all about, your life, your story. We are sharing stories to really help one another. So if something resonates, make sure you share it. All right. Okay, today I wanna take you on an adventure. Yes, I wanna go on an adventure. And first, what I wanna ask you is I want you to think about when I just said that word adventure, what comes up for you?

What does adventure mean to you? What do see? What do you think of?

And maybe how long has it been since you've been on an adventure?

You know, I had that question proposed to me at a retreat that I just went on. And they started talking about adventure. And the first thing that came up for me was, I don't have enough of it. I need more adventure in my life is the first thing that I wrote down in my journal. But really, I wanna ask you, you know, how long has it been since you went on an adventure?

Jill O'Boyle (01:43.297)
And what does that adventure look like? What's stopping you from going?

Is it time? Is it money? Is it fear? Is it self doubt?

You know, what does an adventure look like to you? So as I said, I was just at a retreat a few weekends ago and I'm going to say that that retreat was an adventure for me. So it was a four day women's retreat to get out in nature, be still, step away from the hustle and just the chaos and busy lifestyle that we are all inundated with, right?

and just get away into the stillness and the quiet and nature. It was an adventure. And so maybe you're like, Jill, that doesn't sound like an adventure at all. Like that sounds like complete opposite of what I just thought of an adventure. Like when I say thought about when you asked me, what is an adventure? I was like jumping off an airplane. Great. That is your adventure, right? Or adventure to me is going out and hiking. Great.

An adventure to you is getting into a NASCAR race car and driving so flipping fast around that track. Awesome. Right. We all have different ways that we look at the word adventure. But I'm to tell you why I called this retreat an adventure. OK. So stick with me because here's what happened. This retreat was was definitely an adventure for me because it was a retreat.

Jill O'Boyle (03:21.483)
that honestly took me on an adventure to fully let go.

fully just let go, like jump in and just let go. And in a minute, I'm gonna talk about how I really just jumped and let go when I was soaring through the forest on a zip line, which was amazing. But at the minute that I, before I stepped off that plank and jumped, I was like, all the fear was just surrounding me. So I'm gonna get to that in a minute. But here's what I wanna talk about.

This adventure was so purposeful for me. It was the exact thing that I needed because we live in a very busy hustle type world and we don't take enough time, I don't think, to pause. Go out in nature, right? Turn off the noise for just a minute. And so I signed up for this retreat and I'm gonna tell you there was not a lot of information. It was really like connect with other women.

and step away into some silent spaces to truly kind of hear and connect with God, but more just connect with yourself, get away. And I was like, yeah, I need that. I just need to find some stillness in my day and that's what I need. And I was like, all right, I'm going, I'm in, I'm signed up. Price was good, worked for my crazy busy schedule with the boys in their sports. And I'm like,

I'm gonna do this for me. I'm gonna say yes for me because I need it. We all need it. So here's why I call it an adventure though. So the first thing I noticed as I said, I was in with the stillness getting out and doing something for me. But there's a little bit of like a planner that I am coming from a project manager. And I was like, so what's the agenda though? Like, can we like get to the agenda please though? I get it.

Jill O'Boyle (05:20.491)
We're gonna go out in nature. We're kinda gonna do some probably walk -in. We're gonna have some time to praise and worship God, but give me the details. Where's the agenda? So day one, we're gonna arrive at five o 'clock, probably have some dinner. Then what? Okay, the next day, Saturday morning, what's that looking like? What do I need to pack? What do I need to wear? That's important for me. Do I need...

you know, workout clothes. Do I need any kind of fancy clothes? I'm thinking not, because it's nature, didn't pack that, but I didn't know. So it kind of brought a little things that could be kind of semi -cute slash comfy, you know? No agenda, okay? So I'm thinking, all right, well, eventually we'll get the agenda. And so I signed up and I just kept patiently waiting, patiently waiting. I'm like, the details surely are going to come.

And so what are we doing? What's the agenda? What's the sleeping arrangements? my gosh, that was another big thing. Like who am I sleeping with in this cabin? Like, are they gonna snore? Do I, you know, do I need earplugs? Luckily, I finally got the email. And I was like, here it is. Here's all my answers. Where am I sleeping? Who I'm sleeping with? What do need to bring?

What's the food situation? Also very important to me. I like to eat. I need to know what are we having? What kind of food? And so get the email, open it, ready to find out all my answers and my details, only to find out that basically they gave us a packing list. And I was like, okay, surely I missed something. And so I emailed the host and I'm like,

Thanks, received the email, got the packing list. Really appreciate that. But I think I might have missed an email because I don't see any kind of an agenda. And crickets, I get nothing back. And so I'm like, well, my goodness. I think they need to hire me. I think they need an event coordinator is honestly the first thought I had of them. They are just really lacking in their planning of this retreat. Like we should be have.

Jill O'Boyle (07:38.955)
gotten multiple emails by now. So again, months went by, weeks went by, really one week before the retreat comes, I finally get an email that says, here's your packing list and that's it we'll see you soon. See you on Thursday. And I'm like, okay. So, one, no agenda, okay? Second thing about this retreat, they encourage you to unplug, okay?

So night one comes, amazing women, we come together. My fears are starting to lessen because I see that I meet my wonderful women in my cabin, some I knew, some I didn't, all were pleasant. Bathroom inside the cabin, that was also a question I had, didn't get answered, but great, that's checked off the list. We arrived to dinner, first night meal is a Mexican buffet, I'm sold.

At this point, I'm like, all right, I'm in. I am good. This is my favorite type of food. I can eat tacos every single night. Like, I think we're checking all the boxes here. And so the program starts and the host, you know, welcomes us. And she said, you know, if you're anxious or you're nervous, if you're looking for the agenda, I'm like, yes, here, here it comes. She's gonna give it to us. We're gonna have a printout. She's gonna put it on the PowerPoint right here. We're gonna tell us tomorrow.

be here at eight, here's what we're doing. And she's like, there's no agenda. And I was like, my gosh, there's no agenda. This whole retreat has no agenda. Like, what are we gonna do all weekend? But I sit there and I go with the flow and I'm like, okay. And the next thing that they say is, all right, so we are gonna encourage you, it is not forced, but this is a time for you to get away, to be with yourself, to get connected with God. And so we're gonna encourage you to limit your use of cell phones as much as possible.

Like truly, there was a reason you signed up for this retreat, you wanted to get away, and so really just unplug for the weekend. And so again, it was not forced, but it was really strongly offered and suggested that we dive into the present moment and unsubscribe from what the world is doing. And the first thought I'm like, you know what, that's probably a good thing. Like honestly, that's probably why I did sign up for this is really to detach myself from the world, the chaos, like limit social media.

Jill O'Boyle (10:05.053)
all the distractions and the noise that we have on a daily basis, right? And so I'm like, that's probably a really good thing to do. But then immediately as I think about that, I'm like, OK, well, what about my kids? You know, they have some sports. They have my husband's taking care of them. What if something happens? I mean, what about really? What about all the cool Instagram photos that I need to take and share with all my community like you guys? Like people need to see every minute of my life, right? Sarcasm.

So I thought, okay, I'm gonna ponder on that. And honestly, what I ended up doing was I didn't fully remove my cell phone usage, but I did truly only use it for worship music in the quiet time and only responding to urgent texts that I needed to respond to. Okay, so that was the second thing. So one, no agenda. Second thing was encouraged to unplug. And then the third thing I'm gonna say.

is they just encourage you to jump in. Just jump in and go after what your really adventurous heart is desiring. And so one of that first things that they asked us to journal about, they had a couple different topics, but the first thing they put up there was adventure. What comes up for you? What's important to you? What do you think about when you think about adventure? And as I said earlier, I said, man,

I want more of it. need more of it. And so there was just a copious amount of time for us to get out in nature and truly seek the beauty of the world around us. And more importantly, just be quiet and to limit the noise of the world and find that wisdom and find that truth in the silence. Gather your thoughts and journal.

And here is what I found. It was in those moments where I truly did let go of the agenda. When I said, you know what, I am going to unplug. I'm not going to be connected to the world this weekend. It was in those moments where my heart really transformed. And I had realized that I had been so craving adventure and fun and rest.

Jill O'Boyle (12:29.123)
And so I, you know, you put those three words and you're like rest and adventure and fun. Like adventure should be, you know, all of these things. But it took me back to a time in my life when I didn't have any fears. And I was living in the moment. Present and I was embracing a ton of fun and joy in my life. And because here is what happened, so.

Each day we had an opportunity to go do an adventure, whatever that looks like for you. Right. It could be adventurous as zip lining or as adventurous as taking a nap. mean, everybody had options, you know, and there was activities throughout each week and go paddle boat, you know, get on a paddle board, go do axe throwing. mean, anything that you wanted to do, they had different types of adventures you could sign up for. And the thing that I realized the most is I

wanted to embrace more fun and joy and do those things that I crave that I don't ever really get to do when it's the routine schedule of the day. And so I was like, number one, first day, I'm like, I am doing that zip line. Like that is something that I have wanted to do, but there's kind of a fear there because I mean, you're just held by a string. What if it, you know, detaches? And so there was that instant level of fear as I climbed up

to the plank and got ready to jump off. Like my head in that moment was like, do not do this, this is stupid. Like, look at this, this rope is like frayed to pieces. It looks like it's barely hanging on. But my heart was like, just jump, just jump. And that is what I wanna talk about. It's like, when you can let yourself listen truly to the adventures of what your heart is craving and you just go for it and you don't.

Think about all the fear that we get so tied up in in this world and you just listen. And when you're in a place where you can truly listen to your heart and you can quiet the noise, I will tell you, you will find immense joy. And that is exactly what happened as I jumped off of that plank and I ziplined. All of a sudden, as that fear released and I was hanging there, know my events instantly, my arms fly open.

Jill O'Boyle (14:56.159)
And I just felt free. I just felt so free. And so it was just an immense, undeniable joy that was like, that was so fun. Like so fun. For me, right? Now there was another lady that jumped off right before me and she ziplined across and she got down and she was like, never again. Never again. So maybe her adventure of her heart that she was craving in that point and season in her life was like a nap, right?

So I'm just saying we all have adventures on our heart and mine is definitely for that excitement and that thrill and fun and all of those kinds of things. And when I was ziplining across, I'm like, it just brought me back to being a kid again. And I think we have to remind ourselves as we're busy and we're.

tied up with parenting and our jobs and our career. There's an inside child in you that wants to and is dying to go back and do some of those things that absolutely bring you the most joy and fulfillment. And so don't shut her out. Don't shut him out. Go and do the things that your heart is desiring. Go and do that adventure that's on your heart. Because I believe as many of you know, I coach high achieving, over achieving,

women and we thrive and we have a strong desire to be in control. I know because you're listening to one, right? It's a work in progress daily and that's why I love to help you because I have struggled with this throughout my life. But I have reached a point in my life where I have overcome so many of that desire to control.

But we have this strong desire to take control. We want to take matters into our own hands. And where is that coming from? It's really from a sense of protection. It's from protection and validation that we got it. We can handle it. We don't need anybody else's help, right? I lived like that for a long time. You've probably heard me share, know, people pleasing perfectionism and procrastination.

Jill O'Boyle (17:12.383)
were my best friends. That is how I lived my life, pleasing others, perfecting everything I did. Nothing was ever good enough. And then procrastination would just show up, right? Because it was never ever good enough. So it would take me endless amounts of time to get to something where I felt okay about it, or I would just be like, screw it, right? And that's what happens when we stay in those stages too long. We get to a procrastination stage where we're like, just screw it.

It's always gonna be like this. It's never gonna change. And we get ourselves stuck in a state of helplessness. And so we tend to stay in living in fear and we stay living in a survival mode. We're not willing to open ourselves up to experience the fullness of this world and what it is trying to offer us. We are just so held tight.

You know, it's like our hand picture, you know, getting ready to jump off of the zipline. Your hands are just so tight on that, on that rope. And you just don't want to let go. You just don't want to let go. You want to have that control.

what if you just open your hands a little bit? What if you just open it a little bit and allow yourself to let go? Because I promise you when you do, so many other doors will open for you. That fun, that joy, that fulfillment that you've been longing for, that adventure side of your heart, it's gonna start opening up. And so my question to you is to go back to the question that I asked you. What does a adventure,

mean to you.

Jill O'Boyle (18:55.019)
What adventure have you been longing for that you haven't taken yet? And what would be the worst thing that could happen if you decided to just take that leap? Take that jump, lean into that. And that's what I wanna encourage each and every one of you. Like, what if this week you just took that jump? What if this week you high achieving women would just not have an agenda for one day?

one day. Could you do it?

I'm telling you, I didn't think I could do it. I did it for four days, no agenda, four days. And I'm gonna tell you, it was awesome. It was awesome.

And so know you're not gonna be out at a retreat, but I would encourage you to do one. So try one day.

Get up this Saturday and not have a plan. Just try it. Pick a day and just see what that might do for you. What if you took a complete day of rest and silence and turned off all the notifications, all the social media.

Jill O'Boyle (20:11.095)
How would that make you feel once you got past the anxiety that you're gonna miss out on something, right? How many of you suffer from FOMO, fear of missing out? Yep, it's a real thing. You're not gonna miss anything, I promise. In fact, you're gonna gain a whole lot more. So I would love for you to go on an adventure with me, take some time, journal what that looks like for you. Think about how long it's been since you've done something like that.

and figure out what's one little thing that you could do to start adding that adventure back into your life. I promise you, will not regret it. mean, right now I am just, I'm laughing at myself is what I'm doing because it was quite amusing when I looked back how much I had let agendas and control my life. And it was like, my gosh, what is wrong with these people? Like they need an event quarter.

event coordinator, surely they should hire me. I can make this run a whole lot smoother. I mean, the retreat was flawless. mean, they, every detail, they thought up and they had us covered. They didn't need to have an agenda for us. Everything, we found out the moment that we needed to find it out, what we were doing next. And you know what? Well, what was kind of cool about that was I realized how much I...

like that because it almost brought me back to that feeling that I like. Like I like I do like to be surprised about things like I do like surprises and I do like when things like you know somebody tells me something we're gonna do it I'm like that sounds that's not so fun right and and so I didn't have to be the planner for once because they they already had it taken care of and so it I just laugh because like I saw a lot of things show up for me

that weekend that, you know, really was good for me to realize. And as I continue to grow in that area and help other women learn to let go is such a huge, huge thing that we need to do in this life that we just don't do enough. So go ahead, take that adventure, take some time, journal this week about what that looks like for you.

Jill O'Boyle (22:35.039)
and I hope something resonated with you today. All right, go out and make it a great day. Be you, love life, and rise up.