Unveiling the #1 Dream Killer: It's Not What You Think

This episode is about Believing Lies and Breaking Chains, because You Deserve Better and So Do Your Dreams! 

Why do most people often fail to pursue their dreams?  This is the question that will be explored during this episode .... it's probably not what you think. 

The discussion includes: 

• The impact of believing lies
• The significance of our personal stories
• The #1 dream killer 
• The truth about our purpose 
• A personal invitation to get unstuck once and for all 

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Transcript

Jill O'Boyle (00:01.664)
Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of Your Life, Your Story, Rise Up. I'm your host, Jill O 'Boyle. All right, you guys, so the beginning of this year, I mentioned that I would bring you more behind the scenes, right? Be more intentional as my word of the year. And so with these episodes, you will have some that will be just from me, like today, where I'm gonna speak to you directly about...

what's just been going on in my life in hopes that maybe it resonates with you as well. So I've had some a tough past week to be honest. This past weekend, I lost my grandfather. And then the next day I woke up to hear the news that I had lost my uncle, both in the same family, you all. So it was hard.

It was a hard last few couple days, weeks. And it was sad. It's so hard. You know, death is something where it just can't prepare you. Nothing really prepares us, right? So it was sad, but yet I was at peace. I was at peace with just a confirmation that I got from God that they are with Him. They are in a much better.

place than here on earth. And so as I looked around and as I was in that funeral home for a couple days, I started to look around and I just couldn't help but think about how short this life is like here on earth. This life is so short you guys like do you do you know that do you know how short this life is like it's a blimp. It's a second compared to our eternal life.

But yet so many of us, me included, I'm not dismissing my own self, but I am way better than I used to be. But we are so fixated on worry. We worry about so many little things, small things that we make big, right? I'm sure you had an incident this week that you can say, pretty sure I blew that one out of proportion. Probably.

Jill O'Boyle (02:27.328)
wasn't worth all the worry, all the fear in my mind, right? Yeah, we worry about everything. We worry that we won't have enough. We won't be enough. We won't say the right things. I'm going to fuddle over my words. I'm going to freak out when I get on stage. I mean, we come like we basically put these thoughts in our minds that are really minimal in the scheme of

life. And so I don't know if you saw it, but last week I shared on my social media page about how I was sitting in church just the other week and my pastor flashed these three big bold statements on the screen. And when he, when I saw them, I just started nodding my head. I was like, go on pastor, preach it, preach it because

What these three statements were was exactly what consumed my life nearly six years ago and left me spiraling out of control, completely burned out, wandering aimlessly in my life. And in return, what was it doing? It was robbing me of joy. It was robbing me of my happiness. It was robbing me of...

the purpose that God had on my life. And they were lies. They were lies that I believe many of you have probably believed as well. They were lies like I am what I have, I am what I do, I am what others say about me. That's a big one right there. I am what others.

say about me. I bet if you are truly honest with yourself right now, you've believed these lies. I bet this lie came up in your mind and reminded you again this morning that you are what you do. You're your title, Jill. Remember, VP is where you're going. If you get to VP, then you've made it. Oh, I bet you've been reminded that, oh, what, I don't know, what would they think if I bring this up in my work today?

Jill O'Boyle (04:48.672)
I bet you've been reminded of those three things once or twice already today.

Because here it is, it's all around us. I mean, look around, take one scroll through your social media feed and tell me that your mind isn't telling you that your life sucks. Look what she has. Why can't I ever get ahead? Why can't I have those nice things? Why can't I go on that expensive trip? Why can't I have that kind of a relationship? Why can't I have a house that looks amazing like that? Why can't I fit in jeans like that?

Jill O'Boyle (05:26.88)
Am I alone? Have you thought those things? Like I know I have. That social media is a trap, man. It will take you from where you are supposed to be called and go, and it will immediately put fear in your mind. It will immediately tell you that you are not good enough. They're lies. That we have to remind ourselves that are not true.

So.

Here's the truth.

Here's the truth, because so many of us, I do believe, and maybe this is the first time you are hearing this, and so listen up, listen up. These are lies. These are lies that you are believing and reiterating to yourself that says we are what we have. If I have that big house, if I have those expensive shoes, if I have that nice car, if I have that perfect handbag, if I get VP status, if I work harder.

then others will think I have made it. And you know what? I believe it too. I have made it.

Jill O'Boyle (06:34.24)
I say this all because I believe these lies for far too long and I want to tell you the truth.

Ask yourself if you got that nice car, if you got the nice house, if you got VP status, did you really win? Like do a heart check. How's your heart? How's your relationship with your spouse right now? How's your relationship with your kids? How full is your cup if you got all of those things? And are you truly fulfilled and are you truly happy? Because the honest truth, if I had to say,

and I was listening to your conversation right now, you were saying no.

No, actually Jill, I do have all those things and I'm still not happy and my marriage sucks.

Jill O'Boyle (07:23.392)
Because the truth is happiness comes from within.

You've got to love yourself. You got to know who you are. You got to believe that you're worthy. You got to believe that you're enough because you are.

and all those other things, I'm not dismissing those. I want a nice house, I want nice things, I wanna grow in my career, I want to be successful and have money, and those are great goals. Those are great goals. But that's not where your worth comes from. That's so separate. But for so long, my worth was tied to external things. My worth said, if I have this, I'll be happy. If I just get here, I will be happy and successful. Wrong.

You find happiness with where you are today.

And if you get those other things, great, extra bonus. And you probably got them because God's now giving them to you because you're finally listening and you're finally walking in belief that you are enough, you are worthy. Because you can't take those things with you when you leave. They're temporary. Like I said before, this time right here on earth is so temporary. All those things that you think you need, the jobs, the titles that you're striving for, those certificates and achievements that are hanging beautifully on your wall, the money in your checking account,

Jill O'Boyle (08:43.328)
You can't take them with you when you leave.

You can take your soul with you though. You can take all those memories and relationships with you. And so when I was standing at my grandpa's funeral, I smiled because I believe he lived a good life.

I felt in the presence that God was saying to him, good and faithful servant. He lived a simple life. And I think some of us have this misconception of simple life. Like that sounds boring, Jill.

It's not boring. I believe my grandfather was truly happy. I believe he fulfilled his mission and purpose on this earth. I don't think he got all worked up and in a tizzy about how much he had. Or if he was better than the Jones's next door. Ultimately, I think he loved God. I think he loved his family and I think he was kind. I don't think I know.

My grandfather was kind and humble to others, generous. That's what we're meant to be, y 'all. And so it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I think that there are too many people living their life in fear, living their life based on what they have, who they are, what others think about them. And it crushes me to know.

Jill O'Boyle (10:19.264)
that so many people have a purpose on their life. It crushes me to know that so many people have a purpose, a mission on their heart. Like, you know it, you feel it, but it remains unexplored.

That's like gut wrenching to me.

You have a purpose on your heart and it's remaining unexplored. Not because you are thinking that you're gonna fail. That's not it. It goes unexplored because, not because you fear that you will fail, but rather the overwhelming fear that you have about what others may say or think.

That's a truth. So many of us hold ourselves back from stepping into where we're being called to be. We hold ourselves back from living the life that we want to live, that God's calling us to live, because we fear, oh, if I do that, what will other people say about me?

You can't take those other people with you when you go to just. Right. It's a big, big, big fear, and it's a real fear. And we should care a little bit about what other people think. That's natural. That's our mind. Why is us to to be caring people and and care? And so it's with a sense of being. Not that I want you to just not care about what people think.

Jill O'Boyle (11:51.136)
You can care about what other people think, but I don't want it to totally stop you in your tracks from what you feel God is placing you in your heart. And let me be clear, the people probably closest to you are the people that probably won't get it at all. Like I know, I believe, when I stepped out on this journey into coaching executive high achieving women,

When I said I was leaving my corporate nine to five job and I was going to discover this feeling, that's all it was, was a feeling that I couldn't deny. I couldn't deny that God was calling me to coach and help women in some capacity. That's all I had. And I couldn't let it go. And so I said, I'm following it.

I've heard it too much. I'm not going to dismiss it anymore. I'm going to take the step towards it.

Jill O'Boyle (12:56.768)
And I know people were like, she has lost her flippin' mind. How is she gonna pay her bills? She just thinks she's gonna go coach women and blop. I don't even know what they said. And nor do I care. Because life is not about what other people think.

Lean into what God is talking to you about and follow it. And if I can give you any encouragement today at all, I have several verses that I love. But one of them is 2 Timothy 1 7. And it says, for God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Did you hear that? God did not instill

fear in you. So if God didn't put fear in you, then who is the enemy? The devil. The one that loves to come and steal and rob all the joy in your life. The one that is taking you away and telling you, oh, you crazy. You had this great idea, but you're wrong. Nobody's gonna, that's not gonna work. That's gonna fail. Nobody's gonna believe you. What do you have to say, Jill?

Right? I just shared that the other week. Like this is real shit. Mind my language, but this is real stuff that goes on even in my own mind. This week, I became an author for the second time just the other day.

I was a co -author for a book called Pursuit 365 Business Edition, where 365 entrepreneurs came together, we shared our encouraging and motivating words. And I got up and it was big book launch day and immediately my mind said, you know, Jill, it's really not a big deal. Whoop -de -doo, you put 365 words on a book? So what?

Jill O'Boyle (15:05.568)
Who wants to listen to you? What advice do you have?

And what's ridiculous is that I believed that for about a minute.

and I realized that is the voice of the enemy and that is a lie because it is a big deal. It's worth celebrating. I can't imagine that two years ago I was sitting in a corporate office and now I've written two books. I've spoke on stages. I'm coaching women and changing their lives. So it's a big deal. And I say all that to say that you're a big deal. You have a purpose. You have a calling.

You have gifts that you need to explore and I bet you're dismissing them. I bet you have gifts that you don't even think are a big deal, but God's asking you to use those gifts in a way that's going to help others.

Do not fear, right? That's why I love that verse. God did not give us the spirit of fear. So why do you believe in it?

Jill O'Boyle (16:10.048)
Did you know that do not fear is noted 365 times in the Bible? That's one time for every day of the year. Like, do you think God is trying to make a point? I think he is. Like, I think he is like, hello, in this world, you will have troubles, right? But do not fear. God has overcome the world. This was not meant to be a preaching episode, but it clearly is turning into that.

because God is speaking to me right now and I am trying to get my point across to you. That fear is coming because we put trust in the wrong hands. You have so much fear in your life right now because you are putting all of this in your hands.

you trying to take ownership of it. And when we do that, and we try to be in control of our lives, of course, we immediately feel inadequate. We feel insecure.

And because of that, we instantly let our dreams die. We instantly stop pursuing the path that we were supposed to be living. We stop believing that we're worthy or enough. And so we go back to believing the lies that the world tells us, which is I am what I have. I am what I do. I am what others say about me.

I don't want that for you friends. I want you to wake up. I want you to really, really wake up and really ask yourself, what are the voices that you're listening to? Are they voices of compassion and love and grace? Or are they a voice of dismissal and rejection and unworthiness?

Jill O'Boyle (18:06.752)
That is the voice of the enemy. That is the voice that your mind is telling you to believe because you're trying to do everything yourself.

I want you to rise up, friends. I want you to rise up to the calling on your life. I'm asking you to climb higher into believing that there is more for your life.

Jill O'Boyle (18:28.064)
Some of you I think are like, I wanna believe that Jill, I do, I wanna believe that, but you don't understand the idea that I've had. You don't understand the whispers of the things that is telling me that I should do. And if you know me Jill, and you know the mistakes I've made, and you know how bad I've messed up, nobody will ever believe me, no one will ever believe this great idea. Nobody would ever follow me on this adventure. They would look at me like I'm crazy.

Jill O'Boyle (18:58.784)
It's not crazy. That idea is not crazy. It's purposeful. It's purposeful. Don't you think that immediately when I heard the calling that God wanted me to take that I didn't think it was crazy?

Our mistakes, our failures, our setbacks are the qualifications that make us qualified to help somebody else. That's our purpose on this earth. We are created to help others. And I believe we're created to help people who are just like you and me. Right? I heard the calling. I heard Jill.

I don't condemn what you did, but I will restore you. I will make you new again. That life that you were living before got a little crazy. You got a little bit off the beaten path. You weren't listening to me. You were listening to what the world says you are. And because of that, you're here.

but you've come back home and I'm ready to restore you. I'm ready to make you new. I'm ready to turn your life around if you say yes.

And here's what I want you to do. I want you to speak openly and honestly about your affair. I want you to tell people why they found themselves in this stuck pattern of life. I want you to tell them that there is joy and fulfillment on the other side.

Jill O'Boyle (20:33.952)
Don't think I'm human, y 'all. I'm like, what in the world? Okay, and what did I do? I dismissed it. I dismissed it a couple times until I could not deny that this was where I was led to be. I have gifts of discernment and intuition. I have gifts of motivation and enablement. I've seen myself as a child on stages. Now I have a story to tell. A crazy story about how...

My mess, right? I was in the ashes. I was burned out. I was depleted, but somebody came along that side of me, spoke life to me. God spoke life to me. Watch as you start to expand your circle. Watch the people that come around you and connect you speak life over you. Watch as you begin to rise up.

Jill O'Boyle (21:33.696)
I want to help you friends. We are qualified to help others who look just like we did a few years ago, a month ago, a week ago. Someone came alongside of you and helped you and now it's your job to pay it forward. I'm forever grateful for the countless people who have come alongside of me through my darkest days.

who it's by no coincidence that God brought them into my life and I leaned in just enough to hear them out.

leaned in enough to be curious.

And because of that, because of that willingness to realize, I'm gonna get nowhere staying right here. I'm getting nowhere living this life in fear, living this life in unfulfillment, heartbroken every day.

Jill O'Boyle (22:39.282)
Maybe I should listen to the one that created me. Maybe I should listen to the one who knows me. The one that created me in my mother's womb who said, I have a purpose for you. I have plans for you Jill and they are good.

I don't know who I'm speaking to today, but I know I'm speaking to somebody. And it's.

It's tearing me up right now because.

This life is short.

And I don't want you to be living the pattern of life that I have lived before. I'm giving you the rope. I'm asking you to pull, grab it and get out of the flames that you're in. Get out of the life of living in this self -fulfilled life that social media says, oh, you can do it all on your own. You cannot do it on your own.

Jill O'Boyle (23:40.864)
We are meant to be in connection and community with others. And this is what I help my women do. I create a community where we can come together alongside of one another and lift each other up and say, hey, you know what? I just went through this and I don't know what to do. And somebody else says, girl, I got you. I was just there last month. I was just there three years ago. I was there six years ago. Right? Our stories are.

Purposeful. Listen to me. Our stories are purposeful. They have meaning. That pain that you went through last week, last month, last year, six years ago, it's always working for you. It's always working for somebody else that needs you.

So if that's you, I'm here. I want to help you so bad to start living and believing that you are worthy. You are enough. You have a purpose. This Groundhog, hamster wheel lifestyle, day in, day out, pulling your hair out.

That's not the life for you.

So that's what I do. I help high achieving women who are looking and seeking to restore control and faith over their life. They're ready to get their life back. They're ready to be unstuck for once.

Jill O'Boyle (25:12.)
So if that's you, I ask that you don't wait any longer. You heard me before, this life is so short. Don't get to the end of your life and let every ounce of your dreams and purpose die with you.

Connect with me. It's a phone call. It's a 30 minute free consultation call to say, hey Jill, here's what I got going on. How can you help me?

And if I can help you, which I'm sure I can, I would love to. I also want to let you know about an upcoming retreat that's coming up Friday, March 8th. So I think by the time this one airs, it'll be that week. So this is the 828 retreat. It's a women's retreat. It's a one -day event for women who are really seeking that, that control over their life. It's a retreat where...

you're ready to discover that purpose. You know you have a purpose, but you're ready to discover your purpose. You're ready to define what are the values in my life, right? We really break that down for you to understand, like, here's maybe why we're spiraling out, right? When we don't live in our values, we will be burned out. So we discover your purpose, we define your core values, we give you an abundance amount of resources and tools to set you up to live a life.

of joy and fulfillment and peace and start to walk in your purpose. So incredible one day event, March 8th in Fishers, Indiana. If you are from out of state, that doesn't matter, come on, drive over. There's plenty of hotel accommodations. Reach out to me directly. I'd be happy to recommend a couple that are just right up the street from where the venue is taking place.

Jill O'Boyle (27:05.344)
If you are from afar and you'd like to attend virtually, let me know that as well. And perhaps we can do a Zoom link as well and get you put into the room virtually. That would not be a trouble at all. So again, Friday, March 8th, 828 retreat. Otherwise click the link below to connect with me. Let's have a quick consultation call. Let's start living your life on purpose. All right, friends, I hope you...

took something away today, a little piece of nugget to motivate you, fire you up to live a life that you were called to live. And remember to just be you. I cannot stress that enough. Be your authentic self. Put the fear of what other people say away. That's the lie of the enemy. Love your life. Live this simple life.

and rise up, friends. I'm asking you to rise up to the calling that you have on your life. You have a purpose. Let's discover it. Love you, friends. Have a great week.